Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend with benefits got my new car stuck in a mud hole. I had to call my ex to get us unstuck. FML
Today, after having saved up my money for months to buy my college-bound son the car of his dreams, I got a phone call telling me it had been totalled during a drag-race. I only gave him the keys two days ago. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML
Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML
Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
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Top comments
jaycee1209 5
Darn, what a drag that must have been for you.
JoshMohawk 11
From the sound of it, maybe he is in high school.
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Comments (143)
stephhrunsaway 21
Looks like you blew that chance to impress your gf
Kyuzomi 12
Well he did beat her ex, so if anything it shows that he's better at something than him so kinda impressed her, I guess. Not really a way to think optimistically on this one sorry OP.
michaelaranda 28
its not exactly a classy way to impress your gf in the first place. btw op, you're not in high school. you dont have to show up your gf's ex.
JoshMohawk 11
From the sound of it, maybe he is in high school.
Adm_Twigs 19
racing blows engines. it happens the top fuel guys have to rebuild theirs after every track day so im not surprised! at least you won brother!
Arrow44 10
#63 #bro
Ambient25 25
Guys racing each other is both a stupid and very cliche way to show off/compare dick sizes. Have these guys walk through a spider web and compare their reactions. THAT should determine who's more manly.
Potatoverse 7
Even the manliest man would cringe at that.
junkman6 22
#70 Obviously this woman likes gearheads/racers so it actually makes sense to impress her by winning races. I'm assuming she's into racers because her ex and current bf both race. My current girlfriend loves rugby so I enjoy impressing her by winning and scoring try's. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to impress your significant other.
Adm_Twigs 19
yeah not an internet hipster sir. brother sounds classier.
CestLaVieMonAmi 6
If a boy went that far to impress me, I would be flattered and absolutely beside myself with joy. I say, nicely done OP.
REALAfroninga 11
I like racing, am I stupid? It's a hobby, it's not some cliché battle, it takes talent and a connection with the car. Next time, don't launch your own opinion on another person, if your opinion is ignorant.
Ambient25 25
Let's see. My opinion is that random street races are retarded you little ricer, especially those that involve just an added muffler and spoiler. Yeah you're real fast. A real race is something you can do on a track or strip, where it's actual skill and not how much traffic is on the road or the distance of one stoplight to the next. Being the owner of a modded 06 GTO, I'm definitely not ignorant. But thank you for your opinion ricebug.
junkman6 22
OP says drag racing spot, to me that implies a legitimate racing area and not a street race. You discounting someone's hobby as a form of penis extension is plain idiotic. Also you saying using that hobby to impress a girlfriend makes them less of a man is also idiotic. If you've never used anything you are skilled at to impress a woman I have to wonder what you do with them for fun.
Ambient25 25
A drag racing spot can be anything, from a stop sign, stop light, a parking lot, or a legitimate area. It's not referenced, so it's up to assumption. The rest of your post values no comment.
Dave_Davington 34
#114 I think you're confusing drag racing with street racing. They're two very different things. Though I'm not much of a petrolhead myself, so I could very easily be wrong.
Ambient25 25
I know people who consider it both. I just find these guys who are commenting very amusing. Having my GTO in storage right now, I'm no stranger to wannabes at a red light. All too often they have a passenger, be it a girl or guy. So yes, I'm not talking out of my ass with this disdain.
stevothedevo 25
@ambient25, your a ******* fag. This post and your profile make you sound like such a ******* hypocritical wanker it ain't funny. Fck your GTO in your husbands ass!!!!
Adm_Twigs 19
^he said modded when referencing an American muscle car! well a retry at a muscle car... won't beat the birds!
tinggo 5
Make her blow your engine in you know what I'm saying
buckeyed 20
A swing and a miss.
ptoka 20
IF* only it were a home run...
BrockALee 14
Hey, at least he wasn't in the same car as you? Not much of a bright side to this one, sorry Op.
zandalee 20
Merry Christmas OP and all of the FML community!! Xxx
Sports_guy3 28
There is one bright thing: He won.
jaycee1209 5
Darn, what a drag that must have been for you.
kamikrazy 6
At least he won the race.
06cobaltSSftw 7
at least you won the race man.
yourlifesucksHA 14
You won! You better get some tonight!
raisinbam 13
At least you won.
christian2234 15
As long as you won!
JoJo91_fml 8
well you got the girl & actually won the race sooo... that's a win!
JMichael 26
Why should you feel the need to impress her?
cosicosei 22
Because it nevers hurts (minus the engine) to keep things interesting in a relationship. I'd like impressing my boyfriend on a regular basis, why not? Plus after, I'd do the new engine swap with him, it'd be a team building thing ;)
RoboCunnilingus 23
I'm with #12. Real men HATE impressing their girlfriends! Why should our women think we give a **** about what they think of us. Puh-lease! -sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm- -sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm-