Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said, "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
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Top comments
beccaishereyay 11
Ugh. I'd give you a ticket too.
Dargoria 1
Sometimes you just got to force it down. Sorry about the ticket.
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Comments (107)
Dargoria 1
Sometimes you just got to force it down. Sorry about the ticket.
Boygenius50 8
NO! Improper grammar is NEVER acceptable!
bigtaytay 13
And that's why OP got the ticket. People who care THAT much about grammar are tools
FMLoverAgain 7
OP had a grammar issue. The officer really meant he could care less about the excuse. OP made the officer feels like he couldn't care less and a ticket was called for.
MDTeddy 13
Why are officers always mean grumy bitches? If ticketing grammar nazis were the law then everyone who actually pays attention in school will get a ticket because they know English.
evig_fml 16
You know, what most people don't realize is you don't actually speak in standard English (the thing all the grammar nazis die over) you tend to speak with an accent, and much less formal as well. Standard English is only expected when writing a paper, and while it is nice for a commenter to use it, it is in no way required.
TheDrifter 24
In this case, not only was op rude, he was incorrect. The officer COULD care less about his excuse, and his modicum of care was going to let op off with a warning. After the "correction" he couldn't care less and simply wrote the citation.
evig_fml 16
110- ah you were smart enough to realize the sarcasm :)
CaptainDoorknob 7
YDI solely for using the word "fuzz". What the **** are you a 1960's greaser?
TBelle4Ever 15
Do you know what I say to Grammar Nazis? There, Their, They're
kevmeister 4
No the officer was wrong. "Could care less" doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It means you care at least the smallest amount of caring but we don't know how much that is do we? It makes sense if the officer said he couldn't care less about his OP's excuses because he saw him break the law so it doesn't matter what they are. Also the OP doesn't even know if he actually was not going to get the ticket "He was probably about to let me go".
kevmeister 4
But it doesn't make sense! You can't remove a word and expect it to have the same meaning! I could NOT care less. I could care less. See how the word "not" makes a difference. There is a difference between colloquialisms and using incorrect English. Also you are confusing accent with dialect.
IQWasJustLowered 0
It does annoy me when people say they could care less, then when I try to explain it to them they can't what's wrong!
beccaishereyay 11
Ugh. I'd give you a ticket too.
Sandsh8rk 36
Usually people get pissed off when you correct them, there have already been several FML's regarding something bad happening when people correct other peoples.
winnerme123 8
That what dose grammer nazis get
Nabee143 3
You get a ticket for saying "fuzz". Who says that?
ElricMustang 23
Well, you know, obviously OP says that. Just a wild guess, though
expertsmilee 26
I walk up to the police in new york city, and I'm like excuse me officer I'm tryin' to find some weed
diceplaya 12
62- You're a real badass...
expertsmilee 26
It's a song brah, look up go cops by rucka rucka ali, dunno why I bothered knowing no one would get the reference.
pokefan813 16
Me too, 2. There are some places where you just don't do that, op. YDI.
fromthesuck 8
Grammar nazi vs traffic nazi... You shoulda known you wouldn't come out on top.
SteezinDiego 3
Orange county bound???
laden_swallow09 35
62- You may want to enclose song lyrics in quotation marks and name the song after the quote. If you really want to impress, put slashes after each line. Then there's no room for misinterpretation. If it makes you feel any better, I got the reference. :)
rodgersfan 6
62 - and they're like shit so are we why don't you roll with me, we're gonna go 'round pulling over some minorities.
r_bruce69 19
Did you really say "brah"? I hope that's sarcasm or irony, I really do.
walmartpaysme 15
OP, there is something called a mouth filter. It will help you a lot the next time you want to piss off a cop.
mfischer 17
Do they sell those at Walmart?
fgwrxfiend 11
No I think target has them. Two for one sale
onlychildFTW 34
OP should be able to gold back his correcting. If not OP lacks self control.
walmartpaysme 15
113 - what? No one said anything about filtering the cop. I meant next time OP wants to be a smart ass he should really just shut up.
EvilPotato 15
Wow, ok I'm sorry, but you're a idiot. YDI.
abceasyas123abc 12
In the spirit of this FML I have this to say: You're an* idiot..
mfischer 17
Agreed, I think this is a perfect example of when the you deserved it button should be clicked.
evig_fml 16
22- you know it would be more helpful if you explained why. An is used before words starting with a vowel, some words starting with M also receive an in front of them, but only if when they are pronounced they make an e sound before them; basically look for words that sound like they start with a vowel. Also understand that English is always changing, and that in 30 years we may pronounce M differently and it may no longer receive the article an in front of it.
retrorewind 13
94- wtf you been smoking?
sillyyanks 24
You are the reason why my username is what it is!! Maybe the officer was being unusually polite ;)
agonydrum 7
Faggybrit
Codezlol 21
Foot, meet mouth.
CalCommando 6
Pressed YDI because you called the police "fuzz."
TourettesGuyFTW 26
87- Thumbed you down because you're a moron.
BunnyRose 11
I know you realize that you should have just shut up, so, I'm not even going to say it. FYL, YDI.
sexyaniknowit 7
But you did say it..
DaDezza244 31
Oh the irony!
kabu3000 4
I don't get why people say it like that. If you "could care less" then you could care less. That doesn't tell us anything about how much you care. It is kinda annoying.
Kefka91 15
Yeah, in all honesty I probably would've said something as well because the misuse of that phrase annoys the hell out of me.
gc327072 31
No, you always be a brown nosing sweet talker if it's gonna save you a ticket. Duh.
KellyPeterson92 10
It definitely annoys me as well, but there's no way I would try to correct a cop that has pulled me over!
kamikrazy 6
Well when you say "couldn't care less" it means you care so little that you cannot care any less. "Could care less" means you can care less than you actually are.
laden_swallow09 35
75- Right… What did 8 say?
mbuck87 19
I don't get why people overanalyze stuff like that and give so much of a ****? Everyone KNOWS what they mean, even if they say it incorrectly
Nabee143 3
118 Well that was a whole lot of useless information. Wonk wonk!
Evilphatpandah 5
Red cars appear to move faster than other colors so they get pulled over a lot. Something to do with how humans perceive light.
person961 9
Not everyone is going to have perfect grammar all the time, people need to learn this.
photoquilty 6
Comma splice! You should've used a semicolon; you need to learn that.
person961 9
I did that on purpose to prove a point that not everyone is going to have perfect grammar.
abceasyas123abc 12
I call bullshit.
SinghIt 1
Agree with 9
photoquilty 6
I call BS.
ElricMustang 23
No you didn't, 15. Don't try to pull that off
ygdrassil 17
Well they ******* should.
turkturkington 13
No, they need to learn proper grammar.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There are some times when you just have to learn not to open your mouth....
Nabee143 3
And the times which this rule does not apply are: 1. Eating 2. Drinking 3. Giving an awesome BJ to your man. 4. Giving an excuse to your boss why you're late for work, again. Any more reasons?? Hmm.... Got to think this out more. Feel free to add any suggestions you like. Lol