Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said, "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
beccaishereyay 11
Ugh. I'd give you a ticket too.
Dargoria 1
Sometimes you just got to force it down. Sorry about the ticket.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
183933 6
I don't think he was going to let you off regardless. Sounds like he had every intent to write you a ticket. Your mouth just added a few more bucks to it.
G_of_teh_T 3
i hate it when people say that. its not like its a small thing like using the wrong "their".
fordneagles 34
Or using the wrong 'it's' :P
coolguy53111 5
Who still says the "fuzz" anymore?
SApprentice 34
That's why you should try not to antagonize people with the power to make your life miserable.
fordneagles 34
Cop: "I could care less about your excuses, so I'll just give you a warning." You: "Actually, it's 'couldn't care less'." Cop: "You're right, I couldn't care less. Here's a ticket." I don't disagree with the point you're trying to make OP, but you see in this instance where you went wrong, don't you?
loopmeinoddone 0
Wait, you're a grammar nazi, but you refer to the police as "the fuzz"?
afb728 4
Thank you! I thought I was the only one bothered by that.
Likian5 26
YDI for being stupid enough to belittle a police officer by correcting his grammar.
kevmeister 4
I'm sorry please explain.
gcnickel77 2
You... are a ******* dumb-ass. Seriously, was it worth it? They call people who do that "Nazis" for a reason.