Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, by helping my sweet, caring boyfriend get over his crippling insecurities and develop some confidence, I've turned him into a lying, cheating asshole I can't stand. FML
Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML
Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML
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Top comments
JillianIsLoveee 0
You should dump him He's an ass
ihatestupidppl 0
Wow, your boyfriend is a douche.
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Comments (135)
jennifercw18 0
If he's childish enough to throw cards at you because you win, you should throw him to the curb.
SexyJake 4
Sorry for lack of words, but I want to reassure... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
AndreaHatesYou1 0
And you're dating him why? If he acts like that, I'm assuming he's no more than 10 years old, which would make your relationship illegal.
MisterZzyzx 0
Become his 'cute little bubbly retarded ex-girlfriend'. Once you do, let me know. I'm always up for a card game.
scottvodka 0
you need a new boyfriend. maybe lose some weight
kindness 0
dump him. he's obviously a loser. and a jerk.
Witchcraft_fml 5
I always appreciate Triumvirate's wonderful puns. :]
arissia 0
Sounds like a real winner.
Witchcraft_fml 5
What a douche. But the mental image I get of a sore loser throwing cards at his girlfriend is very funny to me. :]
cooperisacat 0
This is your fault for staying with such an asshole.