Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
For men, the world is our porta-potty. For women, well you're pretty much screwed.
chillyCholo 5
Was he as excited as you were?
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Comments (77)
akvandervort 21
Aww, that's cute, my dog pees when I come home too!
KiddNYC1O 22
Lmao.
pattipan 7
I'm sorry, I fail to see how a dog pissing the floor or worse the carpet, is cute.
KiddNYC1O 22
It's not the actual pissing that's cute, it's the dog being excited to see their owner.
pattipan 7
It's still dog piss on the floor/carpet. How disgusting.
Insert_Life_Here 6
Am I the only one who finds this kind of adorable in a weird way.
studdmuffin1990 7
You have been watching to many Japanese anime shows wear that type of scene is portrayed as adorable
Insert_Life_Here 6
I mean in a pet sense which now that I think about it I guess is kind of offensive. (I don't mean in a golden shower way either cause that's just wrong.
cami197934 3
Ew
jacquay09 3
Why yes, yes you are.
PlaidPanda 9
If you're in to that kind of thing..
MzViKki 4
I guess its kinda cute in a weird way lol
thisbitchlys 0
whatd he think of that?
HolyPotato 9
There's no need for excessive exclamation points.
SluggerJ 7
Did he say "are you wet for me?" lol
MaydayParadexx 18
Like a dog.
pattipan 7
Thank you, Holypotato. Exclamation points are annoying.
hotcaligirl 10
Shoulda just popped a squat
KrayKrayGurl117 7
You should have peed behind a bush or something hahahaha
bigdipper32 5
that's a pisser