Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
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Top comments
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Gave my friend and his girlfriend a ride to his house back in highschool, as I was the only one in my group with a license and a car. Half way there they start doing the nasty and I was like really assholes? A sudden brake check was enough to ruin their mood.
Lobby_Bee 18
You were the third wheel in the fourth dimension for a brief moment. You broke physics.
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Comments (24)
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You shoulda whipped it out and hoped for a handie!
Lobby_Bee 18
You were the third wheel in the fourth dimension for a brief moment. You broke physics.
bigdaddyeric 37
So? What’s the big deal? Did you want to give head to your bf while his gf drove and you were jealous?
A Frenchy in Eire 31
So? Well putting aside that this is pretty disrespectful, it's downright dangerous. There is no way that dude can be properly focused on the road if his girlfriend is giving him a ******* while he drives.
ohsnapword 21
Unless she's really bad at it.
K Sasika Senaratna 3
Am I the only one that thinks this is kinda fantastic? xD
bigdaddyeric 37
Voyeur
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
I mean, if it was you, would you stop? i definitely wouldn't have. I don't think it's as bad as you make it. I have been with friends and they start ******* so you gotta find something to do while they finish.
notesz 21
Or he needs to find friends with class.
DanielleinDC 34
It's dangerous to do that while someone is driving and pretty rude to do it when someone else is with you, even if he is asleep. Wait until you get home.
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
i mean yes, it is rude, but I've seen people not care couple of times. All i was trying to say was that it is no record.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Gave my friend and his girlfriend a ride to his house back in highschool, as I was the only one in my group with a license and a car. Half way there they start doing the nasty and I was like really assholes? A sudden brake check was enough to ruin their mood.
Selene1090 26
A few years ago, my bestfriend at the time suddenly started giving my brother head in front of me. She also once started fingering another girl while we were having a sleepover and I was in the bed with them trying to sleep. People that aren't considerate of others enough to keep it in their pants until they are alone, are assholes.
EnvyMe33 26
If it were you getting head and not your friend would you have stopped if your friend woke up? Maybe she wanted to show you how good she was at giving head so she could do it to you...
SneezyBear 27
Why are there so many people in the comments defending this crap... y'all are nasty lol
vaderfc 19
well that sucks