Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
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Top comments
clairedycat124 3
You must have been pretty pissed
ManInTheMachine 20
Ah, the joys of sneaking out. A shame you're not into Golden Showers OP. You would've gotten two things out of seeing your boyfriend that day.;) Oh, and chances are your boyfriend's dad DEFINITELY knew you were out there.
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Comments (117)
clairedycat124 3
You must have been pretty pissed
Just_STFU_Please 13
That escalated quickly
PleaseStayChill 9
She should be glad it was only pee... Just saying...
thefella 10
4 - just stfu please
walmartpaysme 15
Unless he had gutted his wife and was throwing her innards off the balcony, I don't really think this could be much worse, seeing as it would have been difficult to take a shit off the side of a balcony.
Feared 9
Sounds like urine trouble.
Epikouros 32
It could me much worse if pigs could fly.
YacL 15
1 & 32 - You guys are so punny.
jacquesromualdez 12
Surprise golden shower. :)
PleaseStayChill 9
31- I've personally seen someone take a dump from a balcony. Not a pretty sight, but very possible.
IAmJad 18
I pee what you did there.
LolFMLnot 10
Why does he pee there? Whats wrong with washrooms? o.O
DarthSekra 4
You see us Men like to pee out in nature it helps us feel more one with earth and helps us feel the animal that is deep within all of us.
_krystallynn_ 11
lol it took me a minute to figure this out:) punny lol
Hannahbanana95 8
I would be!!
tjv3 10
YDI for sneaking around
iOceanus 18
31 - That is pretty extreme, but morbidly funny. Should I be worried that I found it funny?
missymay993 11
Pissed off AND pissed on!
clairedycat124 3
That's just plain disgusting.... Good luck grinding a girlfriend
claiiire_fml 17
Just stop. There's only so many puns you can make involving pee, and that wasn't one.
claiiire_fml 17
It's a pretty simple thing to figure out, 77. Wow...
ManInTheMachine 20
Ah, the joys of sneaking out. A shame you're not into Golden Showers OP. You would've gotten two things out of seeing your boyfriend that day.;) Oh, and chances are your boyfriend's dad DEFINITELY knew you were out there.
unknown_user5566 27
That's definitely an innovative approach to telling your son's girlfriend that you hate her.
Soloman212 28
Innovative?! Inventive!
unknown_user5566 27
75- Please go Google "synonyms for innovative".
AKGirlinSD 20
Plus, now she can check off Golden Showers on her "Sexual Things I'd Like to Try Someday" list. Kidding!...kind of lol.
anonymous100000 17
much deserved. OP must be young for needed to "sneak" to makeout with the bf.
paperroll880 16
That's disgusting! Take an umbrella next time?
MormonPornstar 7
Really? Who the hell prepares in advance to be pissed on?
s0m3guy2010 21
15- Anyone who visits R. Kelly.
MormonPornstar 7
So, I would like an Emergency Preparedness kit for my future adventures... Got the Piss Umbrella, anything else?
Feared 9
Yeah, don't forget your poop riot shield.
MormonPornstar 7
Anything I need in case of projectile menstruation?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Padded armor and tampon swords.
MormonPornstar 7
Locked and Loaded
mintcar 10
Still trying to figure out why he'd rather pee outside than use the bathroom.
mizuki123 8
I know people who would walk outside and pee then go to the bathroom. Guess it saves water?
evilplatypus 39
5 - The sense of "freedom," maybe? Some people do things JUST because they go against societal norms. Especially if they live a very structured, controlled life.
RedPillSucks 33
The realization that you'll probably interrupt your son in the middle of coitus with the flavor of the day.
justhanging 6
Well, there's the obvious reason ... he saw that she was down there.
ranroy 2
#5 its just easier that way
brt3420 13
I grew up on a farm and not having bathrooms readily available in the field while I worked it was normal to take a piss off the side of the tractor. Growing up like that made public urination a norm, I live in town now and it still didn't change anything. If I'm already outside why walk inside to take a leak?
jjohnson26559 1
I like the freedom of being able to wave my wiggly around whilst I pee. Being constricted to a toilet does not allow me to do that and not get nagged.
bladedrose 3
It just feels better to pee outside then inside ^.^
evilplatypus 39
52 & 60 - Just so you two know, if you live in the United States and someone sees you doing that and complains, you can get put on the National Sex Offender Registry since it's considered indecent exposure. A friend of mine peed outside on private property, but since he was visible from a public area he still got registered.
Jaxx66 21
84- to add to that, if you get a BJ from your wife/girlfriend in the car or with a curtain ajar in your house you will get put on the list. 'crime against nature'. And if you show **** at Mardi Gras, you'll get put on the list. So continue to pee outside, everyone will be a RSO one day if this continues.
twinkiefeets 17
What list?!
untamable_mare 4
Because men are nasty, that's why. Same reason they Piss in bottles instead of going in to the rest area or truck stop. Men are pigs.
claiiire_fml 17
43- So he pissed on her? That's a bit... extreme.
mizuki123 8
Don't deny it OP, you know you liked it. That would suck though.
skittlestrailmix 14
No way dude that's gross
kdog333 1
im guessing most people dont like to get peed on by their boyfriends father, but you know, just a thought.
betseyville 6
If his name is Robert Kelly, he did it on purpose.
123man 11
At least urine is sterile. Be glad he didn't poop off the deck.
s810s_waitin 1
Then it would be a poop deck. Huh? Huh? No. Alright I'll stop.
BigRedDilDoTIME 1
LOOL
syki 22
How is this any different from a normal night with your boyfriend?
Ozuru 11
(insert overused golden shower comment here)
BellaBelle_fml 23
Well played.
off_constantly 8
insert my shlong into your mouth as punishment for using an overused "insert" comment