Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
For men, the world is our porta-potty. For women, well you're pretty much screwed.
chillyCholo 5
Was he as excited as you were?
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Comments (77)
SnowManRTC 4
is it really that much harder for women to hold it than men?
Lucky7Samson 10
Omg he's home!!! *SPLOOSH*
hottay7164 18
So curious: Do you not have neighbors, can you not drive some where to pee?
FlutterLoud 29
Like a puppy
randybryant799 21
Seriously. Does no one on fml know how to pee outside??
metalmeow 13
I was going to say that I'd have just peed behind a bush because an empty bladder is a happy bladder, but then I remembered that we live on a corner lot on the main road. Enough people saw my undercarriage when my youngest was born; I don't need to add the neighbors or random people driving down the road to that list. So upon further reflection, I would have walked to the gas station or the donut shop and used the bathroom there. Either of those options would have been quicker than waiting for someone to come home, and unlike the bushes, would also have included toilet paper.