Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her best friend came home after a long night. They both hopped into the bed and were very insistent that I join them. I said I felt weird about it and slept on the couch. The next morning, my pissed off girlfriend said that they wanted a threesome but I killed the mood. Fuck, I'm an idiot. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML
Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
They agreed because you invited them both over to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and threw away the rock and the paper.
boog_fml 7
Either I'm drunk or this FML really sucks because I didn't understand a word of it =
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Comments (37)
omg2funny 1
Have you had any fights/spats with this guy? Or have you been keeping him up by doing your girl all night, several times a week? If yes, then he could simply be trying to break you guys up.. A man needs his sleep..
delfoxio 0
invite him to come with you and have a foursome next time :)
MaraJo_2011 0
Umm.. Set up a camera in your house and go to your parents again? Atleast then you might get some hot lesbian blackmail?
NEEPLES 7
Hi
wiseKat99 13
Eww. Threesomes are sick....
Mortoli 30
sry op hope you left her and found someone better by now.