Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Free ****?
hannahmorgan06 7
ironic.
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Comments (89)
hannahmorgan06 7
ironic.
EvilPotato 15
Knock on the wall, and yell over 'SHUT UP' that'll make them stop.
indielove 13
The expression on your face must have been hilarious.
Tookie22 5
Go greet the new neighbors in the middle their sexventure. Two things 1) they'll stfu 2) 3some. See not that bad
EmyB_fml 8
I can just imagine the akwardness of the moment :p
skyguy89 0
Hot? Lol XP
dre_bro11 12
Make up sex?
cimh 9
and the expression on THEIR faces! lol
stro88 6
Sh*t who needs **** after that. A live show. Stupendous.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Free ****?
fthislyfe 22
Dammit. I was just about to say that :(
hemz_fml 13
Well they're only human.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Just start talking really loud and if your parents ask say you don't hear anything, last resort is saying its their t.v haha
The_Instigator 11
I feel your pain. I can hear my neighbors having sex too.
TheFlyingMan 8
But atleast you don't live in Japan like OP.
esme3101 0
you look gorgeous
skyguy89 0
What's so wrong with Japan?
esme3101 0
29 u look amazing
esme3101 0
that beach looks great which one is it. I'm from sydney too
Minx108 12
I want to know what beach it is too! I'm visiting next month :)
btbamfan75 0
just blast some whitechapel during, im pretty sure theyll find that as disgruntling as you having to listen to sex.
death_rose567 4
I would just go and have sex when I know for a fact that they're home. Make sure it's really loud though ;)
Killuhk 8
Looks like you have competition haha...words of advice..do it longer, harder, and louder ;)
bettyc4 26
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!
_streets_ 19
Darn. Don't ya just hate it when that happens?
Ugi 27
If it's an ordeal, you're doing it wrong!
rattusrattus 19
Alternatively, you're doing it very, VERY right. ;)
Runninvegan 8
You know you like it.
s_finger 1
now IKnow why you choose this apartment.
jarednt39 5
You have spelling mistake ! Op!
pixelebrate 0
Yii whu karez noone iz purfekt.
stacianichole 2
You're a spelling mistake.
ceddyz17 10
really?
Darcon 8
OP is not a spelling mistake. OP made a spelling mistake. KTHXBAI
Wheredidgrungego 12
Yup. That'll ruin your day.