Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
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Top comments
afrothunder666 5
So... How is it?
daringtoride 27
Oh, husbands. Making conversations awkward with the parental folks since before time.
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Comments (68)
vbmg152 19
I ran out of time. Here's the full comment; And?? How is it? Good, I bet! Mine are grown and will be leaving the nest soon, I can't wait! Oh, they will not have keys either! We raised kids for 33 years all together, my oldest is 33 & my baby is 18! That's more than have my life! Damn right! We're gonna have fun in the house we struggle to pay for when they're gone! If I wanna walk around nude, I will! I know, that's not a pretty picture but, I can if I want to! Just gotta get the last 2 out on their own & I'm working on it! Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!!! Damn, didn't work!!! Oh well!!
desireev 18
Quick! Do the jingle! Do it again! Do it again! Likeagoodneighbor StateFarmIsThere! *POOF!*
vbmg152 19
Lol
Iniezian 18
You better PRAY none of your children know about Fmylife and see this.
vbmg152 19
They do know about it and they can see this all they want! They're grown for Gods sake! It's time to get out on their own! They're not "kids"! They're out of high school, all my kids are adults!
vbmg152 19
Why? They're adults! It's time to get out on their own! I have no "kids" under 18! They're all grown now! I have 2 that like it better here than on they're own but it's time! So actually, I pray they do see this!
vbmg152 19
Why won't it let me post my reply? My "kids" are adults! Why would I care if they see this? It's time they get out on they're own! If I cared about them seeing it, I wouldn't post it! I love them but its time!
mega20913 8
questions that need answers
prettyinpink03 11
Is that really awkward? I don't get why parents talking about sex is such a shocker and a big deal. Personally, I'm glad my parents still do it after 28 years of marriage.
vbmg152 19
Good for you! Intimacy is important in marriage, whether you're 25 or 50, doesn't matter! We've been married over 23 years!
severe_fml 3
Well they're conservative, so if there aren't anymore children on the way then it's nonexistant.
ForeverAloneGal 23
I'd wonder, too..
dreamer36 0
That sounds just like something my family would do, we have no secrets!!!
StanSmith2013 26
Did they give him every last detail about all of their sexual adventures?
CarouselHeart 11
"I cannot tell you! It's confidential! Anyway, how is your sexlife?"
saksxalmo 20
I did not hit her! She is lying! I didn't hit her! I did naaaaahhht! Oh hai Mark. ^_^
kittykat1818 6
wow hes a keeper :) lol sounds like something that should b on a sitcom!!
Dr_Death_Defy 0
i can imagine how that conversation DIDN'T go... so mom in law dad in law, try any new positions lately? why yes son in law just last night we did doggy (non anal), 69, doggy (anal), and hanging corkscrew. glad you asked. have you? ...