Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
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Top comments
afrothunder666 5
So... How is it?
daringtoride 27
Oh, husbands. Making conversations awkward with the parental folks since before time.
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Comments (68)
challan 19
Conservative people have sex too. Even your parents. You're indeed here.
Adula 14
Really ? Who knew ?
perdix 31
Evidently, conservative people **** as much or more than liberals, otherwise Democrats would rule overwhelmingly. Of course, with their disdain for sex ed, birth control and abortion, they may be making more babies by ******* less.
stfuNOWplease 6
I hope OPs parents have mastered the "rhythm method". Or mommy might be pregnant!!!
crushedone 7
Slow and wrinkly.
annie_nk 23
That's an image I didn't want in my head :P
perdix 31
Just because they want to eliminate taxation of the rich, doesn't mean they can't enjoy anal and talking about it.
outoftown 27
But if they're both conservative, who gets to be on top?
j_cat187 20
With great age comes great faciticity.
Enslaved 38
Shoot! You should have seen them go at it in your new house when you were running errands!
LarryLaDouche 13
Old conservative people do the horizontal mombo more than anybody else on the planet. Trust me, they're doing all different types of nasty.
MrHotShot22 6
These are the questions though!
HeyArnold91 8
Come on, you had to be secretly wondering that too, right?
vbmg152 19
And?? How is it? Good, I bet! Mine are grown and will be leaving the nest soon, I can't wait! Oh, they will not have keys either!
foshizzle82 7
31 - sorry this is not related to the FML, but is there a scary "something" in your DP? It has freaked me out! I'm scared to go back for another look and I'm hoping my tired eyes are playing tricks on me!