Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to McDonald's to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML
Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML
Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML
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Top comments
TheMaster15 10
They've got their priorities straight!
alexhaz64 4
Glad you learned your lesson from the time your potential employer convinced you to leave your purse in his office!
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Comments (75)
TheMaster15 10
They've got their priorities straight!
KaeporaGaebora 4
It gives a whole new meaning to meals on wheels.
patrickalamo 48
Time to stop wet nursing, give up the straws and drink like an adult.
kooochris1995 14
At school I always take my tray of food with me if I forgot something op. I've had the same thing happen ):
tiffanynickole 8
Oh no, it's the hamburglar!!
fuzzle003 8
At least you still have money (hopefully) to buy more food with! It's probably a bit better this way...less hassle with credit cards and licences and the like =]
daringtoride 27
Thieves are moving up in the world!
alexhaz64 4
Glad you learned your lesson from the time your potential employer convinced you to leave your purse in his office!
onlychildFTW 34
FML references are the best!
st333ph 12
*comes back to realize food has been stolen* "THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
MiniTree 0
This girls comments are funny!! See them a lot ha they make me laugh harder than the actual fml joke(:
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
It hopefully wasn't stolen. The waiter/busboy might've just thought you were done with your meal. Unless someone said "here's a half-eaten plate of food. I want it." Either way, I'd be pretty sad to lose my food.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Woops, just realized that it says "forgot my straw." So I assume OP was eating at a fast food place and really got her food stolen. My bad.
Mauskau 36
Hey, hey apple. Shut up.
Likian5 26
That's when you throw your table at them on their way out the door, assuming you have the timing right and they haven't already gotten away.
boarderlyne17 8
Because all normal people's first reaction would be to throw something at the thief making away with their food. And clearly, if you had to choose something to throw, that would be... your table. I would like to be able to say I understand where you're going with this, but that would be a bit of an overstatement.
crimsonlover4 31
13- well some people's first reactions include, but are not limited to, punching others in their privates. But throwing a table #8 is perhaps not a good idea...maybe throwing five dead fish and soapy water instead?
Likian5 26
Lol don't worry guys. It was comical sarcasm of course.
perdix 31
You could take comfort in the fact that you fed some starving person, albeit involuntarily. Of course, they really just probably pawned your food for crack, beer and hookers.
Airman1988 9
You can pawn food now days? Ecspecially most likely fast food? Dang times must be getting pretty rough
MrBond007_fml 6
You beat me to it. I was going to say, if someone is desperate enough to steal your half eaten sandwich (I know op doesn't say what she is eating, but for argument sake, let's say its a sandwich) they need it more than you do. I would just suck it up and get another one, despite how sacred I consider my meals to be.
perdix 31
Yeah, in this tough economy, people are willing to buy 30-day old food for cheap. It might not be so bad if the pawn shops refrigerated the food...
desireev 18
The soup kitchen does get old after a while...
Airman1988 9
I always notice your smile every time you comment, not trying to work game on ya just saying its pretty smile. I'm sure I'll get flak from people since this isn't a private message but it won't let me do that on my phone so those folks will just have to suffer.
desireev 18
Well, thank you very much! I'm an all-around happy person. I'd like to think that there are more happy people out there. So I share the smiles. I hear they're contagious... So watch out! :)
boofgall 16
I agree! I've seen the picture before, it's a good smile.
hunteer9 5
I have to agree with that. You smile is radiant
desireev 18
Awww, shucks! Thanks, guys! :)
Dracoboxer357 36
27- Bet you weren't expecting this much love on Fml when you commented today, Des! :D PS: Lovely smile! ;D *Tease!*
desireev 18
No, I sure wasn't, Draco. It sure makes me feel good, though! ;D Not only is it very flattering, but it's relieving to know that there are people out there who share the love like I do! Awwwww... It just tickles me pink! Thank you, as well, Mr. Draco! ;)
j_cat187 20
Glad you haven't left your purse?