Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If he really wanted to make you happy, he'd give you permission to blow a guy with a real-sized dick.
oxemilyxo 5
That sucks. I'm sorry /:
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Comments (154)
jenskibunny 4
whipped indeed
silverback208 0
I hope u punched him in the face ...Hahaha on another note that is pretty funny
LightUpThaJay 3
Haha, my boyfriend does this to me...only he does it jokingly. I assume yours was serious? If so, if I were you, I would've taken the offer and bit his dick off.
OurLadySorrow 3
What a dick. Go find someone worth your time.
Apaulus 5
Haha that's f$@king hallarious!
Mistery510 6
he's so thoughtful!!!
OsirisFaction_fml 5
That's true comprimose
smarter_than_you 0
Douche alert!
ccovey 2
Get over yourself. Suck the dick like you are supposed to
MuziKMajoR 5
U gave him the ******* huh ;-)