Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
jeezburger12 10
That's a very smart thing to say to your boss...
Outsider_77 0
You forgot to say "is a wonderful woman" afterwards
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Comments (228)
DanniMal87 3
Are there people really this dumb out there? I heard of dumb but this is worst than hangover dumb!
cunteyes 10
*I've, *worse. Practice what you preach
Clamcreepy 7
You better be glad he didn't bitch slap after that smart remark
Clamcreepy 7
You*
RiseAlone 5
Have you done her yet?
Pelreskovich 11
You have some HUGE balls. Reminds me of the Dave Chappelle skit when keeping it real goes too far, you just went too far.
maronofhearts 19
*Keeping it real goes wrong
ForeverAloneGal 23
You deserve to be jobless.
DocBastard 40
Your sarcasmometer is incorrectly wired to your brain. Either that or your brain is incorrectly wired to your mouth.
yourlifesfucked 0
That's quite an impressive pic ya got there.
2O12 6
If he had the brains then his sarcasmometer should be correctly wired. I'll go with the second one.
RabidBunny 10
Oh, if only I could count the times my impulse has left me in ruins! Don't worry it happens to all of us :D
MurphyS94 4
No, it doesn't. Some of us can control ourselves and not say idiotic things to our bosses.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Thats a complete fail, but at least you got one good punch.
ThecomingofTan 9
You idiot, you were supposed to say "Your dad."
BeccaHugs 17
#24 I speak for everyone when I say: please shut up.
ThecomingofTan 9
It's cool, I checked with my therapist. He says that I need to let these thoughts out and express myself instead of holding them in, well either that or lay off of the animal ****.
brando420 0
Everyone who commented and clicked you deserved it are RETARDED! Good job! Best way to Quit ever... a big F U! Hahahaha
DocBastard 40
That would be possibly true if this were a booming economy with jobs to spare...and if OP had mentioned ANYTHING about his stupid remark being purposeful. I think we all know who the idiot here is.
brando420 0
Haha do u know him ?does it effect you in any way he got fired?no its ******* hilarious end of story