Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
jeezburger12 10
That's a very smart thing to say to your boss...
Outsider_77 0
You forgot to say "is a wonderful woman" afterwards
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Comments (228)
Lizzy500 16
With a wonderful wit like that, I can't imagine why you're jobless...AGAIN.
rubberduckie94 13
I think the thing I notice most is the "jobless again". Me thinks op has been fired for similar circumstances in his past.
rubberduckie94 13
Sorry did not mean to post twice.
Redoxx_fml 22
Need a moment?
TheJester12 15
you're a ******* idiot . learn to hold your tongue and respect authority once in awhile.
StayatHomeSon 9
Sarcasm, a gift and a curse
MigraineurOfLife 15
Very apparent that OP is young but I didn't think you could work THAT young! SMH grow up!
KaraNichols 9
hahahaha ******* hilarious :') you should really learn to shush, however total classic, your boss had it coming for being a dick, swearing at you is just as disrespectful as your joke
pagullarka 9
I like the sound of that!????
maronofhearts 19
Since when was the boss swearing at him? Bitching him out isn't swearing and neither is "piss-poor attitude" Obviously OP was being an idiot at work and showed it one time too many
Calyx_fml 22
Good for you. Your boss was a dick.
xxdark 3
Well.. Only thing to do now is follow through with it!
midgles 6
Hehe. Smooth :)