Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
jeezburger12 10
That's a very smart thing to say to your boss...
Outsider_77 0
You forgot to say "is a wonderful woman" afterwards
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Comments (228)
le_troll 0
Hahahaha the good ol' ya mum joke. Works every time.
RhymeTyme 3
When you're a smartass Bad things can happen When you're a dumbass You should get a slappin
SlickWillyTFCF 5
Of course you lost your job jackass.
shsbrownie 3
i didnt realize 4 year olds could legally work. lol what a dumbass.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I didn't realize 4 year olds can use the "Your mom" joke. I must have fallen behind on the times...
Okayitwasme 0
Maybe you need a job where you work alone.... Plant trees for forestry or something. Clearly you are the type that would thrive where you have more independence. Good luck OP
AJRENO 0
You are the stupidest person I have ever met in my entire life. Smart thinking.
EpicSquishii 21
I was unaware that you had met OP..... How do you two know each other? Dumbass
DiscoDave 5
I guess u really dislike your boss
rastafarhi 0
Bro you do have a piss poor attitude. Grow up.
kface525 1
Ha, that's epic. Good work!
IsmelG 0
Thinking fast I see lol..