Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
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Top comments
wes85 2
probably got his attention.
MyNameIsInvictus 0
NOTE. That never works. Fail.
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Comments (124)
MyNameIsInvictus 0
NOTE. That never works. Fail.
abusyboy93 0
thts wat u get for bein a ****
corgi 6
She was doing it for her boyfriend. How does that make her a ****?
MyNameIsInvictus 0
Yeah that's definitely a slutty thing to do. Why put on the shorts JUST to get your boyfriends attention?
shananigans 0
Meh. Don't feed the troll.
horsechick212 0
hahaha this fails. at least your pants didn't rip
Themistocles_fml 0
So did you get his attention?
Trupe 3
Or you coulda went and got his attention directly.....
imway2sexy4u 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
MyNameIsInvictus 0
YDI for trying to change who you are. You're stupid. Fail ****.
xFalzz 0
If anything, shes getting medical attention
EinSteinFYL 0
So many things.
warpig182 0
i dont get how showing off to her boyfriend makes her a ****
warpig182 0
i dont get how showing off to her boyfriend makes her a ****
MissLyneeLee 0
ha,wow. fail for being a dumbass
EinSteinFYL 0
WTF meant ^ for #5 -_-
Alzied 0
8 - I love Corgi's :) OP - why do you need to TRY to get his attention? I'm sure straddling him in those shorts woulda worked better and saved you the headache.
waterynuggets 0
Because she's a woman. If women are just the least bit sexual, they're *****. Sexism FTL.
ArtIsResistance7 1
Just because she likes to make a fool out of herself, doesn't mean she's a ****. You know what happens you make assumptions? You make an ass out of u and mptions :P
StoryOfTheYear 15
Comment #1 is just oozing originality
CrimsonWolf1294 0
43 has a point. and ydi, op
YouAlwaysDeserve_fml 0
43 ur so hot omfg. so this dont get modded- ydi.
suppressed08 2
43 is the winner :] There's nothing wrong with wanting some attention sometimes. In fact, take the trolls as an example, they eat attention:)
Aero_boy 4
Haha, pay more attention to the fridge when you're making sammiches. It helps.
VegasSkiess 0
she did say herself that she looked skimpy. and plus, no one likes an attention *****:)
Cassie17_fml 0
@5 @10 @21 @25 @38 @43 You are all just stupid. How is she a ****? Or whatever you said? She was only trying to get her boyfriends attention. Not like she went to the mall to get other guys attention. All of yall are dumbasses. Also OP YDI.
SapphireSympathy 7
hahaaha.. yeah... that happened to me... =( that sux.. so i suggest bending down in a big empty space away from shelves tables and chairs... -sigh- fyl and mine lol ;))
SeanFredrick 3
This is no big deal happens to everyone. Well the bumping your head on shit thing, but hey op I bet you got attention! Just say you have a huge headache and he needs to pamper you and stuff!
fisheatsbear 6
@13 I'm sure that would have definitly gotten his attention
waterynuggets 0
Which is why I put "Sexism FTL." Fact of the matter is, a woman can be sexual or knows what she wants and called a **** or a bitch, and if a man does the exact same thing he gets a pat on the back and called "the man." It's ****** up and sexist. -Edit- Thanks #66
Jennifra 0
Agree not a **** thing to do..
Cassie17_fml 0
@66 oops sorry. I was reading fast and thought something else.
Toxxic_Blackout 0
this bitchh is a nasty **** she spreads her legs open to anything! now feed meh I'm a troll
StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0
hahaha dumb bitch!
MarkSeattle 0
lol just proves your clumsy and don't understand guys.
MarkSeattle 0
you're, lol, stupid spell check/auto-correct...
DncrHap 9
hahaha. something similar happened to me. my boyfriend just thought it was endearing. no biggie.
selenagirl_fml 0
I don't see this as an FML.... getting hit? boo fuc**** hoo.
That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
Sucks, you should of been all sexy about it, like "Oh my God that hurt, baby can you come in the bedroom and see if I have a bump?" Or something like that, I suck with the smooth talk -_-
the_flirtt 0
thank you 58
Sentance 0
#21 very literal
xdanifyx 0
bet that got his attention :D
xdanifyx 0
bet that got his attention :D
spaceboyftw 0
**** alert
seanders 10
58, I'm very sure you're the idiot. if she wanted "attention"(she wanted sex) why didn't she just go over n start kissing playing etc? she deserves it for trying something stupid like that when she coulda just grabbed his dick and said "let's go". And if she just wanted to tease but not please well then I wish she just broke her neck when she hit her head cause that's just cruel. My opinion, if you have a different one I frankly don't give a rat's ass.
illmatic2 16
105- She didn't want sex, just attention. I kinda doubt that she did it just to tease him. Just wanted attention.
FFML_314 12
105, "grabbing his dick and saying let's go" could be considered just as smutty. There's nothing wrong with being creative and playful with your boyfriend. I feel sorry for your girlfriend (if you have one) because, you sound like a royal pain in the ass. She's not slutty or an attention *****.
MyNameIsInvictus 0
Hey everyone! It's called trolling. Suck my dick. OP is not slutty, just a major ******* dumbass. I'm just having a little fun aggravating people.
MW2nBAKE 0
you are dumb. she IS A **** because if she does that to her bf then she most likely is the kind of girl who dresses like a **** at the mall just to tease n shit. sluuuuuut
twinny_sc 13
Agree with 58, she is definitely not an attention ***** for tryin to be sexy for her boyfriend. Everyone who called her one stfu!
FFML_314 12
111 if you can get naked to shower, I ASSUME you're the kind of guy to go to the mall naked. Queeeeeer!! -See how moronic you sound?
gauravb 0
LOL
DncrHap 9
111 - stupid troll is stupid.
gabbster95 0
what a turn on....
Alzied 0
113 - you mean just because 111 fingers his own anus in the shower he's a queer... wait what? That actually does.
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
ydi for putting on skimpy shorts just for the occasion of getting something out of the feidge
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
*fridge ^
MrWTF_fml 2
why not wear nothing and go over to him??? then say,"want to **** my slutty pussy!!!" you don't need the show to get action!! just ask!!
MyNameIsInvictus 0
LET'S TAKE A POLL. WHO THINKS SHE'S A **** OR NOT?
jenna333 1
haha @ 28 good one!
MrCalves 1
So is the fridge okay?
lizzilla8297 2
that probably got his attention!
s3ntrax 0
that's hot,suks that you hurt yourself tho
ernodea 0
68 don't get on your high horse like girls don't say shit about guys who get with a lot of girls. the only difference is girls call each other ***** and guys praise it
waterynuggets 0
There is no high horse here, champ. Men getting shit for being "players" is nowhere near the same as the harassment and insults women get for being sexual beings.
girlabouttown 0
invictus, you're a moron. it's her boyfriend, and some shorts? since when does that change who you are? jesus christ read a damn book, idiot.
crimsongetsu 0
aww at least u tryed.. keep it up dough
deathcab7 0
i dont think it makes her a ****. ots her boyfriend, she can wear whatever she wants around him. shhhee just had a major fail moment!
spaceboyftw 0
everyone who is voting down the comments saying op is a ****, they're all *****. skimpy shorts are reelly slutty in my opinioin......
DncrHap 9
well, no one asked for your opinion, did they, 198? (:
spaceboyftw 0
no, they didnt. this is a public site....and this is America sooo.... i can say what i want cant i? sorry if you're one of the ***** that i was talking about. not my fault
DncrHap 9
i didn't say you couldn't say what you wanted. i was just asking a question. c: p.s. wearing skimpy shorts specifically to show off for your significant other while in private doesn't make you a ****.
DncrHap 9
oh, and btw, this ISN'T America. this is the internet. which is accessed worldwide. silly boy.
spaceboyftw 0
oh. sorry...and i would have to disagree buuuut whatever
DncrHap 9
... with his dick. HEY-OOO!
Jizwold 0
girls need to realize that it would be alot easier if they just said what they meant and got to the point like op shoulda just told him if she wanted sex. ps all teases should die
MyNameIsInvictus 0
176!!! Oh my god, I took your advice and read a book! It was in Spanish though. It was still good! The title was: "Comó no ser una puta." Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
TwoStrikeBadAss 0
so you mean they moderate my comments but not comments like 139s??? **** FML how bout that
sickshoes12 0
why do you have a picture of a dog shut up you ******
peedxdxdx 0
shoulda made him a sammich. thated get his attention.
xXLenaXx 0
OH NOES!!! My life are ruined cuz I hit my head after all that effort of bending down and trying to get my bf's attention! D: This FML fails so hard, I don't even know where to... :
xXLenaXx 0
#288, psssssstt, "sammich joke" = "a hurr durr i make funnies by saying the word 'sammich' when someone says 'woman' a hurrr i has teh brainz!!1" Just keep that in mind for later. And for life in general, please. :P
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
105: Booooring. Re the **** comments: If having an "only around the house" playtime wardrobe makes you a ****, I and every other VS shopper is a huge one. Hell, we throw brides ****-parties! (Yes, I know they're trolls.)
JohnnyHobo 0
YDI for dressing sluty. >;[
jearojas 4
there's better ways to get your boyfriends attention rather than acting slutty
Blacksmokehick 0
Comment moderated.
5t3ff1k4h 47
^^ **** alert.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Aha. So apparently you don't understand the language of sarcasm. And because you don't understand this complicated language, you resort to throwing insults. Cool. How...sweet of you. Might I suggest throwing something a little more creative at me, next time? Who cares about the size of my boobs. The angle of my picture does not imply that I'm a ****, by the way. Get your facts straight before you say anything. Really, looking at your picture, you have a similar angle. You are also showing off what little boob you have. You might even be the same size as me. Hey, what do you know! You probably even wear super push up bras with tons of padding just to get that look. Nice try, on all that. But you kind of failed. Y'know, miserably.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Funny how you notice I changed my picture after the fact, when I clicked edit my profile and changed it before I saw your stupid comment. You're calling me a bitch because I pointed something out? Also, I guess your grandmother's into making her grandchildren out to be hypocrites and ******. Cool!
5t3ff1k4h 47
And I called you a **** sarcastically because I can. So I guess we're even. Are you still going on and on? *Yawwwn*... EDIT: Believe what you want, anyways. I find it amusing you still don't understand sarcasm.
hannaaaahr 33
Yes, yes it does.
nsriley 2
faaaaail.
vanessaaaa_fml 0
haha yes! It's a sexy fail xD
avenged7fold6661 0
probably didn't like the cottage cheese thighs anyways.
wes85 2
probably got his attention.
tiptoppc 21
Likely medical.
corgi 6
If the booty shorts didn't get his attention, the comedy relief probably did!
illmatic2 16
This is lame. We all hit our head on stuff. Yeah it hurts but big deal... nobody cares.
maskedman 9
Skimpy shorts are nice but head wounds are the sexiest.
chopsuey_45 0
damn, I would still hit it anyways.
devildog42787 0
shoulda grabbed him a beer he would of noticed then
5t3ff1k4h 47
Karma. It's god's way of telling you he's wrong for you. EDIT: I am NOT religious.
jjpavo 0
atheism is ftw
5t3ff1k4h 47
41 - YUP. captain - ALMOST?!
5t3ff1k4h 47
*bends over in front of the fridge door* Is this slutty enough, dear?
DncrHap 9
ho-ly crap, guys! WHY WASN'T I INVITED TO SLUTFEST '10? i wanna play. ):
DncrHap 9
oh. okay then! i feel better. today is a **** day! tomorrow is a **** day! you are a **** day! i am a **** day! YAY!
selenagirl_fml 0
you guys make my day
maddieclaire 0
ikr these comments are hilarious!
5t3ff1k4h 47
selena-are you feeling okay? captain, you're a noob. friggen boob, you are. >:/
DncrHap 9
but as i have stated before, everyone loves boobs! (psst. that means everyone loves you, captain!) o: i also sort of feel like a spectacle with all these people laughing. -shuffles offstage-
5t3ff1k4h 47
*moonwalks* How's this for noob?
DncrHap 9
woooowww! i am certainly impressed. ... but i don't think that makes you slutty enough. nor does it help you contract more STDs. you're not really helping your case much. ):
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh, well captain clearly meant I cracked 100 STDs. So that's taken care of. Now to rape everyone here.
DncrHap 9
i... would not be opposed. take me, bby!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Cool. Now I have captain's std's AND dncr's. ;)
DncrHap 9
NO, CAPTAIN! i obvi called first. -poutpoutpout-
DncrHap 9
well. actually. ahem. i don't... have any. I KNOW i know. i'm a disgrace. shun me if you must.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh guys... I raped you both at the same time! We can all share! :D Guess what that means dncr? You now have captain's std's. Tell me, how do you feel about that? o.O
DncrHap 9
you know, i actually feel pretty good about it. you know why? because now i can feel even more accepted! it's like sharing love. except itchier.
5t3ff1k4h 47
....and wartier.
DncrHap 9
there should be a song called "my itchy, warty love." it would make hundreds! hundreds, i tell you!
DncrHap 9
yeah. i'm so sure i'm infertile now.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Good. You didn't want to procreate, anyways, right?
DncrHap 9
psshnaw.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh. Okay. Good. So I won't tell you you're currently giving birth to captain's baby.
DncrHap 9
wait. like, i'm in labor? damn, i knew it was easier then all those crazy bitches said it was! captain, you can name it.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Name it Artemis.
thepatty8474 10
WTF?!?!
MrValeska 8
She needed a friend.
MrValeska 8
Holy shit I just realized this was a few years ago oops.