Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
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Top comments
wes85 2
probably got his attention.
MyNameIsInvictus 0
NOTE. That never works. Fail.
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Comments (124)
ernodea 0
unfortunately, 127 has to try extra because she is ugly
DncrHap 9
wow. that was beyond uncalled for.
randomgirl92 4
lmao bend n snap
MyNameIsInvictus 0
You're a prick 162.
SkyPirates 0
all the crazy sh*t I did tonight…
spaceboyftw 0
im going to be honest here...#162 that was funny. but still mean
DncrHap 9
glarg. don't encourage him, silly.
spaceboyftw 0
theres other countries?!?!?!?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Either you're just really dumb, or you're new to FML. Either way, yes. This is accessed worldwide. With your repost below me, I'd say you're new to FML.
DncrHap 9
hahaha. lovelove, 214. (btw, wtf do i call you?) i'm crossing my fingers for sarcasm. pleaaassseee be sarcasm, mr. spaceboy.
spaceboyftw 0
yea im new so what. worldwide?? ........ dictionary.com here i come
spaceboyftw 0
what the hell captain. that didn't make sense
5t3ff1k4h 47
Spaceboy, it made sense, if you'd read our posts up there ^^. dncr- Call me Steph. It's easier. And you are.....? cappytan! What do I call you... :/
DncrHap 9
Steph! Abigail is me. (:
5t3ff1k4h 47
Lol, I don't care if you guys give me nicknames, more anonymity for me! :D Tony, as in Tony the Tiger? And she prefers Abby-diddle.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Also, who's Hanna? :p
spaceboyftw 0
...theres other countries?!?!?!
DncrHap 9
i did it for you, spaceboypersonthing: spanning or extending throughout the entire world; "worldwide distribution"; "a worldwide epidemic" captain, we need a **** day errywhere. edit: huh. how did this end up here?
DncrHap 9
but the only other person i apparently had fml sex with was a laddyyy! it has to be yours, babydaddy.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Hey! Abby! I have a penis. It just comes out after midnight. :/ How else would I rape you both? :D
DncrHap 9
call me "Abby" and die. (: AND YOU HAVE A 'NIS? no wonder i'm so goddamn attracted to you.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I have both a diddle and a vajayjay.
DncrHap 9
oh you are just so mean. NO ONE CALLS IT A DIDDLE!
5t3ff1k4h 47
I do. You also just said that word! :D
5t3ff1k4h 47
Yeah. Did you like it? And call me a 'she'... only the special ones are allowed to know about my giant schlong.
5t3ff1k4h 47
BWAHAHA. My comment got moderated. I can't remember what I said, though D;
5t3ff1k4h 47
Probably.