Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
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Top comments
Cad6 24
But the irony in your statement isn't, because it's ironic that you wrote a comment about irony saying that irony is always funny, yet the irony in your comment wasn't funny. How ironic.
ladyvidel 19
I'm sorry OP, that's ******* hilarious. If it were my husband in that situation, I'd be laughing my ass off too.
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Comments (114)
amyrules99 7
Smart boyfriend. Irony is always funny :P
JiggaJayZ 16
No. It's not. Irony is dangerous and it should be taken very seriously.
Cad6 24
But the irony in your statement isn't, because it's ironic that you wrote a comment about irony saying that irony is always funny, yet the irony in your comment wasn't funny. How ironic.
iiTsAJ 5
Oh the irony. I'm bored. Going to go watch **** now.
Rinat_fml 26
25 - You go do that. I'll read more FML stories.
DrDilllonReese 12
But nobody will go socialize... Sigh...
DiscoRanger 0
Socializing is for people who have a life...
JiggaJayZ 16
I had a life once.. Overrated
LightningCactus 12
**** life, we live to read about other people messing up in this thing called "life" pshh.
XtraEzeee 8
I used to have a life, then it got ******. Oh well..
gibbyguppy 0
We do have lives, our lives are reading about other peoples lives getting ****** up. It's the height of social involvement
amyrules99 7
Kill joy much?
kharyll_1 0
Slam the first aid box on your boyfriends head.
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
What kind of asshole would do that he laughs a legit reason so you try to knock him out?
siickman 7
Thats just absurd. There is a legit reason why he is laughing just tell him to let it out and then help you out... No need to go kill people for laughing at a minor accident. :o.
posie94 7
This made me lol so bad.
MaddieLynn123 7
Correction: laugh so hard?
mrpipp 0
Go home
kei1108 13
... So if we don't like what people say, we should wack them with things? Sounds mature...
klimpomppp 9
...and remember kids, violence is ALWAYS the answer
asdfghjklana 9
That's like eating pills to stop food poisoning and you get even more food poisoning.
GoW_Chick 15
You can "eat" the chewable ones, though technically you're eating them anyways, because I mean you don't "drink" pills, but I think a better term to use is "ingested."
Nightwing98 22
Cool story bro...
RaquelW 7
22 - I do! Part of an imbalanced breakfast.
auzz1_pride 9
Yay first time I've seen the first 5 comments buried :).
Mauskau 36
I cut myself on a plaster wrapper once. Stupid paper cuts. :(
Airman1988 9
If you cut yourself on a plastic wrapper, it is not a paper cut.
drdraaman 0
Look Mauskau, this isn't about you. Although some of us may be sorry about your cut,(and maybe some people even wanna give you a hug) this isn't your moment to shine in the FML Hall of Fails.
lotrgeek 10
Other countries occasionally call band-aids "plasters"..
ClassyCommando 13
What did 4 do wrong? Band-aids are often wrapped in paper, and there's nothing wrong with briefly recalling something that happened to you to sympathize with OP. Why is this site becoming full of jerks?
melij99 5
Yes, the paper cuts are stupid.
Michael_92 20
@66 you noticed that too? So so many new people are here now (not that i have been here long, since october?) but the whole attitude of the site has changed since then.
gibbyguppy 0
I agree, why was his comment buried? Hes innocent! Innocent I tell you!
wallandpiece 16
Where in this comment does it say plastic wrapper? A plaster is what Americans call 'band-aids'. Oh, and they are wrapped in paper.
Mauskau 36
I'm a she, thank you very much :P I was sympathising with OP as she felt the irony from the first aid box and I got a papercut from opening the PAPER(hence papercut) wrapper to a plaster/band-aid to put onto a larger cut. :p I didn't do anything wrong you don't have to be rude to everyone online just because you can -.-
wallandpiece 16
So I guess it is true that Americans don't understand irony. Hmm.
llamafish 25
OP! Are you also allergic to your allergy medication? You seem to be an irony magnet.
siickman 7
16, i wish i could spit information out like a computer like you do.... I felt like i was reading out of a text book..lol..
ladyvidel 19
I'm sorry OP, that's ******* hilarious. If it were my husband in that situation, I'd be laughing my ass off too.
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
That's like using a band aid to heal a cut but somehow ur arm falling off, ok mayb a little exaggerated...
failgamer 7
Not at all...
siickman 7
Its more like getting ran over by a paramedic truck...
twisted_cherub 14
Ambulance?
Jewnut 0
did you use a bandaid from your first aid kit?
peanutfoo 19
No of course not. Why would OP do that?? That's crazy talk.
cheaptrix 6
It is a very convenient object to hurt yourself with
Trisha_aus 15
Haha op! Hope the cut isn't so bad! If someone asks say you rescued your boyfriend from chimpanzees
immaMonsta 8
Lol, well do you blame him?