Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
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Top comments
Exhaling 12
Febreeze man, it saves you.
hashshim 23
Cardinal rule of dating: never take a dump at their house the first time you're there.
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Comments (98)
gracehi 33
Sure, one should avoid stinking up someone else's bathroom if one can, but what if she's going to be there for the next few hours? Surely you can't expect her to hold it in for hours? That would cause incredible discomfort, and perhaps an even more embarrassing situation, if you know what I mean. Using the bathroom when she needs to doesn't make her any less of a lady, and she shouldn't feel ashamed. And I know that when I have company, I don't want my guests to feel uncomfortable for any reason. The father is a total dick for making a scene about the smell when he knew she was was the last one to use the bathroom, and humiliating OP for something she couldn't help. At his age, he should understand that when you have to go, you have to go, and that everybody *****, and everybody's shit stinks. He needs to grow the **** up and stop acting like a middle school kid.
Ihavegas 22
guide to pooping step 1 open the window wide as much as it allows. step 2 presray air freshener step 3 take the dump step 4 flush after each drop step 5 clean yourself and wash your hands step 6 dont leave the bathroom door open
Axel5238 29
If it bothers you that much watch what you eat. Greasy/Oily stuff will give you nastiest possible *****.
billyboboo 6
I laughed so hard reading this I nearly choked on my smoke! Though it can't be helped, I once had a sudden bowel movement at work, there is only one toilet with no window and the extractor fan blows straight into the staff room. My word did it stink!
lennon_ 16
Omg my day has been made! Maybe that will be an ice breaker and your boyfriends parents will probably tease you but maybe now they'll like you.
kelsorg 21
lol I'd be so embarrassed, but if I saw him going back that way I'd probably warn him so its not a surprise. fyl, but hey at least you can poop! I on the other hand have problems with that.
neleigh17 7
This FML made my day.
thisiscool19 14
Pooparie, get it
Curlytwirly22 17
Man you should have stayed in there until the smell was gone
todlich 4
Shit happens.