Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
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Top comments
Exhaling 12
Febreeze man, it saves you.
hashshim 23
Cardinal rule of dating: never take a dump at their house the first time you're there.
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Comments (98)
anythingmustbe 18
Im sure a similar FML was posted a while ago. This seems to be a common problem
TheLadyOpal 30
One does not merely "crack open" a window after taking a massive shit.
olpally 33
How unfortunate. Hopefully you were able to get through the date.
Gremlinek 16
Oh no little princes doesn't poop flower scented marbles ;)
ksks1234 33
*princess and ow! Pooping marbles would be painful!
shady_fox77 13
Air freshener provides the wonderful smell of tropical breeze with just a touch of feces.
rybaby23 8
Well that's one way to get comfortable with the new family haha Sorry OP. Next time go before you leave the house. You'll be fine! Everyone does it!
gracehi 33
Oh yeah, how dare she, a female, perform a normal bodily function when the need arises. Pfffffft! I mean, who does she think she is? A man, who has the right to use any designated facility for its intended purpose whenever the mood strikes him? I mean, really.
PippiLee123 7
The shouting was unnessecary. I would be upset too, but would simply wait until the smell was gone or use another bathroom. I'm sure it wasn't the only one in their house. FYL
tymarie2012 31
What if it was a one bathroom house? They're fairly common.
rocker_chick23 27
Not all houses have multiple bathrooms, our house doesn't
Enslaved 38
"Ooh, that smell Can't you smell that smell? Ooh, that smell The smell of death surrounds you"
worldclassrager 41
It happens it should pass soon