stubby
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Too much skin?
🌶️ Spicy
Skinny love
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
nickthetank
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
moerae
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Anonymous
Run away, now
Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML
John Doe
🌶️ Spicy
Shaving!
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Ghostrui
🌶️ Spicy
Curious
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Chester (Seattle)
United States
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
JWags
🌶️ Spicy
Mutilated knob
Today, at 30 years-old, my wife asked why I'm circumcised when my parents aren't religious. I didn't know I was circumcised. FML
Top comments
coolmike699 26
What boss do you have to fight to get to that level of stupid?
donb23 23
Tell her as soon as she gets her virginity back you will consider it.
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Comments (27)
Akitakat 31
Just as much of a chance of them giving her a brain to replace the air between her ears!
RichardPencil 32
You could start crashing brises, steal the discarded foreskins, and graft them on to your penis. You’re going to have to go to a lot. I hope you like chopper liver!
Glowworm56 27
That sounds like a horror porno right there, "Frankenpenis."
RichardPencil 32
Probably more comedy **** than horror ****. You’d have a man’s penis sheathed with the foreskins of a dozen babies. There would probably be a close up of the penis yelling, “Let me through!” and the babies crying, pooping, giggling, etc.
CoyoteOldOne 17
They already made Frankenpenis. It starred John Bobbit, a guy who abused his wife until she got off his penis and went to jail over it. They were able to surgically reattach it, and he starred in a ****.
CoyoteOldOne 17
Sorry. I meant to say she cut off his penis. If she'd merely gotten it off, probably nobody would have been upset.
RichardPencil 32
Actually, Frankenpenis was recently in the news and actually caused a fine senator to lose his job!
coolmike699 26
What boss do you have to fight to get to that level of stupid?
ffc Squall 14
The level 9001 Derpenfang. It has a rare drop that reduces the user's intelligence. I think she must have done some serious grinding to get that stupid.
Donut_Wizard 23
Someone get me a slice of baloney, a staple gun, some crazy glue, and some ice cream!
joeyl1990 28
I don't approve of child circumcision
mattyiscool123 26
Irrelevant
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Add an inch?! My god, does she really think they lob off an inch?
Meghan Pappas 7
not to mention it doesn't take away any length that all!! the skin is taken away from around the head of the penis NOT the tip!! I may not like this word, but this bitch is retarded!!!
James Thompson 8
Well.... you do have one option- ya know how when you’ve got a hard on, your Johnson points/curves up a bit? There’s a tendon at the top of the base of your dick attached to your pelvis. If you cut the tendon, you’ll gain a legit inch or two. Though, then when you get a hard on, your buddy will point straight down. You’ll see this most on male **** stars. So get to snipping, man!
mindfreak117 4
Quite an interesting fact there. i wonder how it affects pleasure and other factors
Mauskau 36
The fun part is seeing it point upwards on it's own though. Men, don't do this! :D
donb23 23
Tell her as soon as she gets her virginity back you will consider it.
PenguinPal3017 19
And hopefully that will subtract an inch of the depth of her ******.
Yudith 28
Be careful what you wish. With the wonders of today's surgery and medieval Middle-Eastern thinking, she can have her virginity sewn back.
Rabite 28
This is really not the same at all.
mt21mt 15
U shud totes make her a e/gf for that toxic behaviour.
finian1108 19
no one understands what you just said
Cali 57
Can confirm. Clueless.
TheMightyMrJ 6
Totes magotes, dude.
worldclassrager 41
That doesn’t change anything...