Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Today, I got home to see that my dad had let himself in. He told me he'd caught a feral dog that somehow got into my house, but not to worry, he lured it back outside and it ran away. So yeah, my dad set loose the dog I literally just saved yesterday from being euthanised at our local dog pound. Thanks dad. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
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Top comments
MDoremis 38
He's trying to move up from Beta, obviously.
Crazyjohnb 23
Well, that's a new way to train a dog.
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Comments (37)
shoegoo 5
I heard the best way to be alpha is by playing draven and running it down mid while spamming hehe xd in chat
sirrubberduckie 37
If you have to go on an angry rant about how you're the alpha... you're probably not the alpha.
Draveren 11
So... who won? Did someone come out on top? Or the contest is still ongoing and they're still barking at each other?
RosaMaravillosa 10
oh my, I think you might be my sister! ;)
Miknoe 3
I fail to see the problem...
Nickimariek 20
I'd be annoyed that he woke me up but I wouldn't care because I'd be laughing too hard. I hope you managed to record that
DumbassRoaster 22
I couldn't record it because he had woken me up from my much needed sleep. I made sure I told him that what he was doing is ridiculous. Thanks for the publish guys!
deathrise007 22
Does he happen to watch Tyler1?
Globrorey 3
Lol I have this argument with my female everyday. I have to tell her that I'm the alpha bitch in the house. Apparently I'm wrong.
eternal_screams 14
Your dad sounds interesting.
TheLostCauseFML 40
This has to be my new favorite post...