Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Today, I got home to see that my dad had let himself in. He told me he'd caught a feral dog that somehow got into my house, but not to worry, he lured it back outside and it ran away. So yeah, my dad set loose the dog I literally just saved yesterday from being euthanised at our local dog pound. Thanks dad. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
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Top comments
MDoremis 38
He's trying to move up from Beta, obviously.
Crazyjohnb 23
Well, that's a new way to train a dog.
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Comments (37)
kikzermeizer 7
Lol
datwall 16
I think I love your dad already...
rockersxx 6
My dad has done the exact same thing. Well almost. I was already awake. Fyl for being woken up by it
roryabester 8
i didnt think my four year old son was posting on fml but who else could this be xD
freddygasman 18
Could be worse, I know someone that bit his dog because she bit him. On the up though, she never did it again and she was the best dog anyone could ask for around kids.
tbrill 15
Honestly OP I can relate to this one, oddly enough. My dad used to have a really weird power complex that would somehow also spindle all the way down to our dogs. . He always had to point out how our dogs "obeyed" him so well because he was the "alpha male " of the house - which often led to strange stuff similar to this. Unfortunately he still does it / stuff like that. Maybe your dad will get over it though. Wishing you the best on your sleep!
searkt 4
Me and my mom yell this at our dogs all the time when they're being bad.
Delial 14
Your dad sounds amazing.
dcea 17
how is this bad?