Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
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Top comments
elhefeweizen 0
Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo
Zonadow 0
Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH
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Comments (191)
stokebasing 0
At least he thinks you have a hot ass ;)
jonny2x4 0
Now you can brag to your friends that you are a "hot piece of ass".
hedgehogs 0
LOSE THIS GUY.
therory 0
At least you were in the kitchen
tboudre 0
see, bitches cooking makes guys horney.
Jake1595 0
he burned you.
l3allin_all_day 0
at least you were in the kitchen makin sammiches
guitardedman 0
theres a video of this.. its kinda old too, guy comes home starts mackin on a girl sets her ass on the stove... if this is real, don't deceive yourself, if you need the stove on to make a "snack" its probably a lot closer to a meal, and you should be glad your boyfriend can lift you
chippa 24
Wow. Just because it goes in an oven doesn't necessarily mean it's big. She could have made a piece of cheesebread or something.
alexxusbrowning2 0
haha i bet ur steamin hot huh?
FarSide 23
Did the poor guy burn his pecker?