Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
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Top comments
elhefeweizen 0
Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo
Zonadow 0
Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH
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Comments (191)
domonoadamu 0
yeaaah real original.
moonmask 0
You've obviously never sat on a hot stove... I've never even done it, but it doesn't sound comfortable. And breaking your femur is even worse.
danabee09 0
this is funny. i'm sorry. hahaha!
Mifflicious 18
#109, you're so awesome as you seem to think you are. I don't think sitting on a hot stove feels too nice either! YOU need to stop complaining!
sn1992 0
you poor thing, holy ****. **** your life for sure. what a ******* moron, your boyfriend is.
ImaginaryFoe 1
#109, are you serious? You broke your leg and now you think you have a copyright on pain? Kindly stfu. Most pains are "unique" but that doesn't make them more or less painful. And just because her life could be worse, it doesn't mean it's not currently ******. Burns can be extremely painful since the nerve endings are involved. If OP was bare arsed, I think that qualifies as a major FHL since she won't be able to sit for quite some time. BTW, I've broken my tibia before. It's not even in my top three most painful experiences in life. Man up.
yagurlteeteexoxo 0
damn that sucks. nxt time b more careful in the kitchen especially around the stove area. at least ur ass got hot though.
triggerit 5
let him kiss your burnt ass... start love game again... life goes on
_PersianBaBe_ 0
Dayummm! must've hurt like hell. FYL.
mrmaks18 7
uve a hot ass in those hot pants and ur ass must have been smoking it's getting just too hot in here