Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
"I did not have sexual relations with that blanket" - Senator Dog
BubbleGrunge 18
You better watch your ass OP! After all, you were cuddling with the dogs lover all night!
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Comments (65)
angelitared 27
LMAO!! The grandparents were secretly laughing at you as you cuddled with the "lover"
joea21 21
Does this count as ***********?
SuperDanielNL 23
Nope, but it sure is disgusting...
lulu889x 22
As long as it wasn't sticky/crusty you are fine!
ClaytorNator 12
There's a vine with a subject like this. Forgot the name...
awkward611 26
why would they leave a blanket like that lying around for just anyone to use atleast they should put it in the dogs bed/house wherever but make it obvious that people shouldn't use it
Kitiara521 24
Ya see? This is why I always ask first... even in my own house, but especially as a guest. What? Don't look at me like that, this just proves I'm *not* crazy.
worldclassrager 41
Bring your own blanket...that might help...
Shieeeeeeeeeeeet 6
Uhh doggie style?
Shepardspie71 8
It's a dominant behavior. Not sexual.
buckdharma 38
The dogs' name should be Jacko.