Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Foot in mouth #366
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
My Humps
Today, I visited my old job to pick up some paperwork. Since leaving over a year ago, I’ve lost over 60lbs, but I’m currently 6 months pregnant. Not a single person believed that I'm pregnant. FML
Body double
Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Glow down
Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Top comments
1DisGR8 32
Hey, you have a hot wife, a beautiful daughter, and a great life. It's not all bad. And I'm sure you're lovely too!
crispiestsquid 4
OP is clearly a woman. Her friend made an honest mistake, because I think most of us are still so used to heterosexual relationships, especially when we think of babies. It does suck that she brought up the baby weight under that assumption, because I'm sure it was awkward if OP actually corrected the friend...
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Comments (86)
1DisGR8 32
Hey, you have a hot wife, a beautiful daughter, and a great life. It's not all bad. And I'm sure you're lovely too!
RavenousRiley 2
How would you know what either she or her daughter look like???
RavenousRiley 2
Or whether her wife is hot or not..
Nats4444 11
The OP said her wife looks "fantastic." It's reasonable to assume the wife is hot, at least in OP's perspective.
babagee 2
Every wife is hot to somebody
Lalala579121 28
I think the fantastic was to imply that the wife looks fantastic weight-wise, not necessarily being hot.
1DisGR8 32
Everyone is beautiful in one way or another
Lalala579121 28
Even Hitler?
1DisGR8 32
There's a certain beauty to evil megalomaniacs, don't you think?
Whydoyouask 11
"I'm sure you're lovely too OP." A FML commentor's favorite phrase. You have no idea what she looks like...
Lalala579121 28
Only the beauty that becomes movies or TV shows. Though I guess you could say he was a beautiful politician? He was certainly brilliant in that regard.
sturschaedel 27
#64 I am certain there are/were people out there that find/found that type of man attractive. As long as you don't look into the flat black eyes of psychopathy. That's not a good look on anybody.
yes31601 16
Sorry for my ignorance, but is OP a man or a woman? If you're a man, then your "friend" is an idiot, but if you're a woman this makes a lot more sense
footinthemouth07 10
Op is a woman.
Arashikage 18
I'm 100% positive OP is a woman considering the fact that men can't get pregnant, and the fml shows that they're a woman
yes31601 16
Like I said, her friend could've been an idiot. I read the fml wrong so didn't notice she's a woman
LyricaSilvan 30
I don't think you realize how many things are wrong with your train of logic, #7.
Zebediabolical 45
I know a man who's been pregnant and had an abortion. Let's not erase transpeople.
TheMathMajor 26
Yes, men CAN get pregnant. But people wouldn't assume that, so it's pretty obvious from the FML that the OP is a woman, even without the gender marker.
J352SAURUS 30
I dunno, when I first read it both scenarios worked in my mind. OP is obviously a woman, but if OP were a man, the friend could've just been making a really dumb joke, like how we joke about men with beer bellies being pregnant.
extremereviews 26
There is a woman's head in the top left corner
crispiestsquid 4
OP is clearly a woman. Her friend made an honest mistake, because I think most of us are still so used to heterosexual relationships, especially when we think of babies. It does suck that she brought up the baby weight under that assumption, because I'm sure it was awkward if OP actually corrected the friend...
KazikPalec 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"I think most of us are still so used to heterosexual relationships." I would say "normal relationships" and I would like that people will still consider them as normal
ronbach 8
i agree
RinoaHeartilly 36
Well, whether you like it or not, the "norm" is changing.
LyricaSilvan 30
Homosexual relationships are also normal ones, 11. Gfy.
KazikPalec 9
#16 no, they are not
zyperman43 19
Please don't turn this into a site like tumblr
chazzywazzy654 22
Seriously #23, are you for real?!
awildwhisper 30
KazikPalec, please don't embarrass Poland with your comments
KazikPalec 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Homosexual relationships cannot have their own kids. In many cases such people are trying in vitro. Today first kids born from in vitro are adult and researches proved that they are less prolific. in such trend people will become sterile because bad DNA will be forwarded further. You wanted to be kind for muslims, you have terrorists. You want approve homosexualism, your grand grand children will be not ale to have kids narutally
TheLemonMan 24
Yse, narutally. All of thesse home of seckuals are inivting TERRORRISTS inot AMERICA, we need to stop the EPIDEMIC, these are not nromal relashionships!,!
DanielleinDC 34
Even with a growing acceptance of same-sex relationships, I think the default is to assume heterosexuality until informed otherwise. It took a quick look at OP's gender, and then I realized, she's a woman married to another woman who just gestated their daughter.
kaymo2 21
And there I was thinking FML was a site free from people's ignorant comments
fabulousfiasco 12
You are misguided.
JEHR 13
35, your point is completely and utterly moot, even IF the research you claimed were legitimate. Sexual reproduction and romantic relationships are completely independent of one another, as romantic relationships are not legitimized by reproduction. And even if they were, your definition of 'normal' then excludes all relationship statuses void of reproduction, including those who are sterile or voluntarily relinquish reproduction. I hope you realize that you just called every infertile reproductive cancer survivor's romantic relationships abnormal. You strike me as the sort of bigot who will perform any kind of illogical mental gymnastics to pitifully cling to your absurd and laughable opinions.
kutiekimari 11
There's actually no way you can be this idiotic. At all. Granted, I may be a little bias on the situation as I, myself, have a wonderful girlfriend... but I am actually laughing at your thought that for a relationship to be considered normal, you must be able to reproduce. Is that really what you're going with? So, and just enlighten me here, what are you going to tell the man who is sterile and wishing to have a child with his wife? Is he abnormal too, by your definition? You're annoying. Please refrain from reproducing. Thank you.
Soninuva 41
Actually, 35, it is indeed possible for those in a homosexual relationship to have their own kids. Granted, if both are males a surrogate is required, but the child can have both parents' DNA through an amazing new process. Therefore, your entire argument is further invalidated. 37, the only "epidemic" through America is ignorance akin to yours. Here I refer to both your grammar and spelling, and intolerance for other people and stereotyping.
Whydoyouask 11
#27 90% of the FML community is straight out of Tumblr and has been for a very lonnnggg time. I just ignore the SJW comments for the most part and focus on the content of the sight which has thankfully stayed good after all these years.
cootiequeen4444 11
I thought 37 was mocking 35? I mean ... they started out with some sort of wonky spelling of "yes, naturally" and around 40% or more of sarcastic responses start with "yes, naturally" or "of course, naturally". And I'm unsure anyone could have grammar and spelling that bad while knowing how to read much more than "See Spot Run".
Michael978 16
I have no issue with homosexual relationships, but you all need to understand that it is not "normal." While there is no problem with being gay, it is still a different from the majority and should be elaborated on if you are talking about a homosexual relationship.
LyricaSilvan 30
Who gives a damn if they can have their own kids or not? Being able to reproduce is not what classifies a relationship as valid, you ignorant shit.
DoomedGemini 38
It is normal. I don't consider something abnormal based on whether the opposite is more common. In that case being female or male would be abnormal based on who is more common. It carries a negative connotation, whether you mean it to or not. Especially when people were/are tortured in "conversion camps" because they're "not normal".
markcantlarp 16
Rabble rabble rabbble
Becca34 31
Don't let it get to you. rude comments aside, you just had a baby!
bagadigi 15
lmao shots fired you shouldve been like "yours might be a little more permanent. Sorry"
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Don't feel bad you have a wife and a kid so that's pretty great. If you want to lose weight just find a way to work into your schedule. You can do it!
Nats4444 11
Because all us overweight people are overweight because we just can't find the time... Ignorance.
Lalala579121 28
They just had a baby. Pretty sure trying to exercise is not the first thing on OP's mind right now.
Tripartita 45
I understand that many post-pregnant folk are probably conscious of their increased weight but, damn, that is dumb even if you did carry the baby. "Hey, long time, no see. By the way, I built the person in this stroller." "Don't worry, you'll lose the weight easily!" "Maybe you didn't hear me. I /built/ an entire person. I spun their DNA like thread, copying hundreds of thousands of alleles every second. I broke down plants and animals into microscopic pieces and rearranged them into a human. *******. Being. My creation will grow up to feel a spectrum of emotions and have experie—" "Yeah, but you could always diet!"
crudeandrudeguy 29
10- Potentially your best comment ever
Tripartita 45
*curtsies*
TheAprilWitch 22
Hahaha, you're great
sarcasmismyno1 22
I hate to say it but #18 is right - this is brilliant (she says grudgingly).
JEHR 13
This is... yesssssss.
Chloë Kamali 12
this is my favorite comment ever.
ickyjuice 8
Virgin much...
Rainbow_Princess 16
100% best comment ever
Etweens96 25
Ah don't let it get to ya, otherwise congratulations to you and your wife on your new daughter! Many blessing for all of you!
pacman490 21
It's, uh, sympathetic weight gain? Yeah, that's it.
GhostFox 34
People may laugh, but that's actually a thing for some couples. Pregnant people produce all sorts of pheromones that have... Interesting effects on those around them.
rldostie 19
Or even just the non-pregnant member may eat more or more junkier food because the pregnant mom is. So if two people normally ate healthy, woman got pregnant and starts eating less healthy food (because of cravings or because she can't stomach healthier food), partner might eat the same kind of food as her because they're eating out more of someone is cooking different food now. Sympathy weight is pretty common.
Moerighan 23
People who comment on your weight without being prompted need a punch in the face