Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
"I did not have sexual relations with that blanket" - Senator Dog
BubbleGrunge 18
You better watch your ass OP! After all, you were cuddling with the dogs lover all night!
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Comments (65)
RedPillSucks 33
I thought I had the only crazy-ass dog that humped blankets. My dog does the humping backwards. He thrusts the blanket towards his genitals over and over instead of normal humping. My wife thinks the dog is mentally unstable.
hunteryager 18
Hahaha, what a visual.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
I mean, every dog has their own personality. Hes just a weird one..love him for it. :)
karpoi 11
Do all dogs hump things? I might reconsider and get a cat then... lol
Hiimhaileypotter 53
No, my dog used to when she was a puppy but she's since grown out of it. lol
MerrikBarbarian 9
Cats do it too sometimes if they are neutered late. In my years of working at a cat sanctuary I've seen two who did it... And felt the need to announce loudly what they were doing by caterwauling... And if you are thinking maybe a bird- they hump too. I've seen a budgie who actually gave himself a bald rump with obsessive perch humping. If you don't want an animal that humps or howls get a female and make sure she is spayed.
perdix 31
#16, no, not all dogs hump things. I've never had a dog that humped inanimate objects, but one or two that would go for the occasional leg. The exception is my current dog who humps my arm (no one else's and nothing else), and, oh, yeah, she's a girl!
lennelleong 33
(: Cool! No need for vibrating beds or expensive Symbians, just a $6 Ikea or Tesco fleece blanket. (:
JhovannyA 7
Did you ask for the blanket and then they gave you that blanket ? Or did you just take it ? Hmmm lol either way that's funny XP FYL OP
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Don't drop the soap in front of that dog!!:O
sisco2901 20
Is it just me, or your profile pic creates a brand new visual image to this FML..?
Aero_x 21
Well...it could have been worse. On the bright side, at least it wasn't your pillow :D
Etweens96 25
My cat has the same thing with his blanket. trust me it's not a pretty picture.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
said= same blanket,,
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
what?
ThorneCrossed 9
Bom chika woof woof
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I can't decide whether to thumb this up or down O.o