Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML
Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML
Today, I had a shift at my job at a grocery store that was full of rude and impatient customers. Someone dropped a bottle of wine and it shattered next to me. I found a half-eaten packet of sushi behind some magazines. The scale on another register broke. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette played on the store radio at the end. FML
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Top comments
halcyon93 16
I bet whoever was working at the time got a bit of a shock then...
llamarrama01 21
You know what they say. People like grapes.
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Comments (101)
AustinDenton 22
You ate them
SgtAssCheeks 21
No.
Sir_Random_Guy 17
Just stop
christina3466 17
I actually think that was a good joke...
shawnsavage 9
Lol xD
zZLightZz 13
attractive looking girl agrees then everyone else magically agrees typical.
halcyon93 16
I bet whoever was working at the time got a bit of a shock then...
uglyheadedbitch 20
Today, some guy came to the counter of the bookstore I work at and screamed, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
desoxyn242 14
Next time OP shouldn't gRAPE them with his wrathful volume
PotterHead_DH 26
#45 that was just terrible.
FlubbaBubba 12
I know it was really bad, but there's no need to wine about it 63.
llamarrama01 21
You know what they say. People like grapes.
saba_ajira 29
People say that?
fuckedPriceless 17
People who eat grapes do.
Roskie 16
Yeah, everybody likes grapes, ****.
MrPottsWithTwoTs 14
Man, these people not getting RT references.
llamarrama01 21
Thank you! I was waiting for someone to understand.
Red_Ninja_20 5
Don't worry, I got you too!
islandstyle808 3
People like crepes too
Bandking 12
Gavin free, eh?
thisguy22 33
What's rt?
Davalicious 7
Rooster Teeth
llamarrama01 21
RoosterTeeth. It's a comedy gaming channel on youtube
Pixelatedpotato 28
And roosterteeth.com
TataAndAlizia 6
It's upsetting that some people don't get it, but eh. Oh well xD I appreciate it.
lmelendez 7
Better then accidentally saying angry rapes...
jkmartinjk 16
Should we make a list of things it's better than saying? -.-
elusiveshame 22
Yes
PotterHead_DH 26
I die a little bit inside every time someone writes "then" instead of "than".
MisterEx 28
#64 - Your life bar must be over 9000 thAn.
Llama_Face89 34
Congrats on being mistaken for a crazy person! It's got it's downsides but people tend to respect your privacy more so you've got that going for you.
panicsdisaster 17
Good thing you controlled your words though!
UmmOkThen 31
One, why would you say "angry grapes"? Two, other than looking a little eccentric that's not really an FML moment. Third and finally, learning how to control your volume is something that should happen when you are a child.
chinaski7628 32
Your brain works faster than your mouth, so malapropisms happen, at least to me, all the time. I also have volume control issues occasionally-- I'll unintentionally use my teacher voice instead of my quiet, friendly voice. My brain can be a real bastard sometimes when it chooses my words and voice volume. Maybe not as FML as some other FMLs, but still embarrassing. And funny.
gabbywalliscool 5
I have that to People constantly tell me to hush and I don't even feel like I'm behind loud and when I think I'm quiet people just hear me pretty much uell
cryssycakesx3 23
I always get "why are you yelling??" "I'm not... :"
CurlyQute 17
Wish I was there... That would have made my day!
Aero_x 21
That's so funny! it is actually very cute, too.
GreatBigWorld_ 15
Settle down there, Thor
cakefete2 31
On another note, the weather man was wrong. He said clear skies all day, but it looks like quite the thunderstorm is brewing.