Today, like most days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice, but this time he brought this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family "brave" enough to go fetch our cat's gifts. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, when I got back to my bedroom, I found my cat had left not one, not two, but four dead lizards for me. FML
Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
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Top comments
lynsieloowho 0
animals do that because they like you. kind of like a " look what I did mommy" sort of thing
Raegron 4
You save the snake's life! My hero! :p
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Comments (102)
babybubz 0
I agree.. if you weren't bit it's really not a big deal. ...and I'm pretty sure it wasn't an ENORMOUS snake.. like a cobra or a boa constrictor...
MermaidSongXOXO 6
This FML sounds like codenames for the actions in a good porno.
null_fml 11
ESPECIALLY "a slew of dead mice".
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
...or ur just the stupid one in the family FYL!
daniisme 0
haha. 17 win. agreed. and snickers, do u comment on EVERY SINGLE fml?
MadaZer0 8
I know I do! Got a problem with that bitch!?
MadaZer0 8
I thought you said you were 84 :P You life is over~
MadaZer0 8
D: I thought you were kidding
lickmyjock 0
Oh I bet you are wrong babybubz... it's quite huge... ;-)
babybubz 0
O.O
swagga0n1oo 0
your lucky you don't live in the amazon otherwise the snake would have been bringing you your cat.
thoughtcrimeno1 0
In soviet Russia, snake brings you dead kitty!
purplemnm 9
in a minute, I smack you with dead kitty!
MadaZer0 8
Oh shit!!! XD Thats the funniest thing you have said the entire day Jock!!!!
whelping 0
snick u fail in general haha
daniisme 0
duh, of course I do. gawsh. lol jks but snickers picture is ingraved in my brain because if her commenting D:
MadaZer0 8
Your picture is ingraved in my penis because of all the times I've seen YOUR pic... And that was only twice!
null_fml 11
*engraved :) Normally I don't bother correcting people but this was a two-for-one special I just couldn't pass up.
MadaZer0 8
Oh my bad... Thanks man~ I probably looked like an idiot there~ :D
MadaZer0 8
Haha very funny Vlad
MadaZer0 8
Says the guy who spells "you" with only the letter "u"...