Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she'd support my decision to stay in, or get out of the military, so I renewed my contract...... She broke up with me for it. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML
Today, I found out that I need a hysterectomy. When I told my boyfriend of 2 years, he broke up with me, because he didn't have time to "coddle my feelings". FML
Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML
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Top comments
Sparx1_1 16
Lose the girl. It's one thing if she wants you to change your hair style it's another thing entirely to chop off a piece of your dick for no valid medical reason.
mariri9206 32
Agreed. You can find a better girl. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship where there are ultimatums, especially ones that involve unnecessary surgery.
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Comments (99)
mgr86 2
Tell her you'll do it if she'll also circumcise her c*nt flaps. Seriously don't do it man, you lose the foreskin and three weeks later she'll have another crazy reason to threaten with a breakup. Not worth a chopped up dick with loss of sensitivity for life.
frostedfoster 15
Nothing wrong with circumcision. I didn't have a choice. I was born without eyelids. That's why sometimes I look cockeyed
mermaidgirle 12
And it took me a moment to get that! Now I've got this image of dicks for eyes.
Lalala579121 28
You'll lose your cat?
Delial 14
Any girl that gives you an ultimatum like that is controlling and emotionally abusive. Dump her and don't look back.
sasquatchius 3
Please don't sexually mutilate yourself for your partner.
xx000o 27
Agree to have it done at the same time she has a double mastectomy, after all that's just 5-10lbs of useless fat she's carrying around.
mfmylifesrsly 30
I might get thumbed down for this but...aren't breasts not useless? They serve a function... btw I OP I say dump her.
SargeRho 6
The foreskin also serves a function. Lubrication, protection, and sexual pleasure.
imabat 14
you if that's the deal on the table, and she can't be okay with the way you are. I'd say dump her man
bikesonthebrain 0
Keep your foreskin... there's a woman out there who will think it gives your manhood more character. An ultimatum about a part of your body that's so personal is a BIG red flag.
slavka012 11
Ask her to get her boobs done in return :)
ThrottleJockey 36
Tell her that you'll get one when she gets one.