Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she'd support my decision to stay in, or get out of the military, so I renewed my contract...... She broke up with me for it. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML
Today, I found out that I need a hysterectomy. When I told my boyfriend of 2 years, he broke up with me, because he didn't have time to "coddle my feelings". FML
Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML
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Top comments
Sparx1_1 16
Lose the girl. It's one thing if she wants you to change your hair style it's another thing entirely to chop off a piece of your dick for no valid medical reason.
mariri9206 32
Agreed. You can find a better girl. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship where there are ultimatums, especially ones that involve unnecessary surgery.
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Comments (99)
shutupmichaela 18
I do know one thing though, bitches they come they go. Saturday through Sunday Monday, Monday through Sunday, yo. Keep your foreskin!
Cali 57
Maybe I'll love you one day...
kashers 11
Tell her that you want to make it a couple activity! Strong couples do things together. Make an appointment for both male and female circumcision and do it at the same time, in the same operating theatre! How sweet!
saffy66 34
You can always get another girl- but I don't think the technology yet exists to regrow your foreskin.
notsoanonymous3 20
In her defense, as a girl myself, an un- circumcised penis does look really weird.
DoomedGemini 38
Penises in general look weird. Bodies are weird. You're probably used to one or the other so the other seems weird. That's no reason to try to make someone get circumcised.
Aethereal 14
That is cultural - if you were living in a tribe who pulled out their incisors, a person with a full set of teeth would look odd, too. I personally consider circumcision a mild form of mutilation, and it disturbs me it is still common in the US. (Also female here.) The female equicalent would be surgically removing the clitorial hood. How would you look upon a bf who demanded that of you?
Achesher 0
Is this ultimatum for religious reasons? If she's Jewish, it's required to have a bris convert to Judaism.
writergirl1029 17
There's nothing wrong with male circumcision in and of itself, but the fact that she's trying to make you do surgery on your body for purely cosmetic reasons is not okay. The only way I could sort of justify it is if she were devoutly Jewish.
sydmander 0
Circumcision is an outdated (and most of the time not needed) procedure that should be abolished in the States completely. We're one of the few countries to still do it. It has no place in current times. You should be happy you aren't. The procedure is incredibly painful (as a child and an adult) and as a baby, most of the time doctors don't even bother to use anesthesia, or if they do it's not even enough to stop the pain. 100 baby boys die every year from bleeding to death or infection for ******* aesthetics. It's disgusting.
Aethereal 14
Ultimatuming you over something like that? Heck, demanding something like that in the first case. That's disturbing, to say the least. That's one of the rare occasions I'm siding with the ''get away from her'' crowd...
Lizzymoe 10
Bottom line is you should never have to change something (ANYTHING) physically about yourself, let alone something as important as your foreskin, for someones own preference with the threat of them dumping you, its borderline abusive
ncparry 18
Circumcision to me doesn't matter at all....lose the girlfriend, there is where the problem is.