Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
Today, I was caught doing it with my boyfriend in a car because we wanted to have privacy from my family. I'm a grown adult with my own home. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
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Top comments
GemmaStyles 14
What makes you think the backseat of his car would've been a better option?
Pleonasm 36
Intimacy is fine, OP, just nowhere on this planet, is what she's trying to tell you. But go ahead and find that place where it's fine.
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Comments (119)
perdix 31
I put this story in Google's Mom-to-English translator. It came out: Intimacy is not fine.
beachbum_101 16
lmao, be abstinent
rebelmonster 4
My guess here is that you're like 16, right? Your mom, justly, doesn't want you to have sex under her roof. A car is also bad because, obviously, you can get caught. Sex shouldnt be something you are so desperate to do like this. Good luck growing up and learning what it's really about.
chosha_fml 27
'Not under my roof' means your mother is NOT fine with you having sex. If she was, she would surely prefer you were in a safe place and not having to resort to doing it in the back of a car.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Maybe she just doesn't want to have to listen?
thejimler 9
The lawn? His house? The local park? Cheap hotel? Fancy hotel? Bathroom at a restaurant? School? Changing Room at a clothes store? The beach? The dog's kennel? You'll have to make a list and get her to tick off on which ones are fine.
TheNewGuy03 29
"So, Mom, you said we couldn't have sex in your house, so I made this list..." *mom views list* *awkward silence* Mom: "Uh ... we need to talk."
oh_the_karma 12
Well my next thought would have been at his house not in his car! So ydi for not having good common sense!
Pikawhore 21
Not to sound snooty, but am I the only one creeped out that she's involving her mom this much with the details of her sex life?
iwadasn 33
I'm guessing OP is a young teenager.
vencku 13
Not necessarily. My dad told me I couldn't have sex under his roof when my boyfriend wanted to visit during Christmas. I never told him we had. Parents aren't dumb. Incidentally, I'm 24. It's not about being a teenager in this case, but about my dad's religion (that no one else in our house shares).
Pikawhore 21
She sounds young to me too, but that wasn't what I meant entirely. Oh well.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
"Tent intimacy is fine; just not in the front yard."
buzz18 7
Try parking someone dark or discreet
mzrobinson 13
They're probably both teenagers who live with their parents..