trembelwick
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Romance me please
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Anonymous
Murrieta, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
"Shortcomings"
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
stun_zeed
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML
Ryan
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Unwarranted
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
FreshDonuts
Antioch, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
wtf
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Mike
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Anonymous
Serbia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Top comments
bananabuttercup 8
That is weird on so many levels.
Savra_fml 17
Coin slot?
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Comments (172)
NullPointer 20
Wow, sounds like a crappy girlfriend.
causticgirl 6
Still though, if you heard someone else say it to their significant other, you'd be laughing like the rest of us. Sounds like a dirty comic bit
kaykay20 0
Lots of enhancements you could try though some say it's more how you use it not how big it is. Try some new moves to get her rocks off. Theirs more things you can use then your penis to please like your tongue, fingers, or a small vibrating toy to aid in stimulation for both partners. Look into it if the small change part has you feeling less then satisfactory.
wildman1056 7
Any chick that refers to her business as a "meat wallet" deserves whatever she gets.
grapeschicka4 0
Hell ya I did. You got a problem with it?
thethatoneguy_21 4
Meat wallet? What happened to the curtains?
Tmoney20 3
Dear lord small change dump the bitch and her meaty wallet... Lol gross. Bet she has one of those roast beef vaginas where everything looks loose... Haha
niplipsip 9
lol.. roast beef ******. that's why I don't eat roast beef.
rawwwrrrsheet 0
Mmmmmmm
sabrinaFML 0
Ouch
coldsteele152 1
Ow thats harsh