trembelwick
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Romance me please
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Anonymous
Murrieta, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
"Shortcomings"
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
stun_zeed
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML
Ryan
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Unwarranted
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
FreshDonuts
Antioch, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
wtf
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Mike
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Anonymous
Serbia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Top comments
bananabuttercup 8
That is weird on so many levels.
Savra_fml 17
Coin slot?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
valloveshp 4
Ha aw
jazzybaby179 22
I don't think she deserves getting her meat wallet played with anymore... : )
truehitman2010 0
well she's already got enough big bills
skyeyez9 25
Better than referring her vag as a yawning hippo.
zephyrum 0
Who has the big bill then xD
mojobanks 8
Remind her that small change can be useful. It can buy her a coke or do her laundry or make a phone call. Or you can keep saving small change and roll it up and cash it in. If your small change equals a couple rolls of quarters, that would be more satisfying than a $20 bill any day!
SarcasticUnicorn 9
She sounds lovely.
alexh15 13
It's the small things in life...
daisyismydog 3
You should never listen to a girl who refers to her ****** as a meat wallet.
Hist 2
Tell her to call me, I'm a big spender...