Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, my roommate had to ask to check if I was drinking water instead of alcohol. Twice. Then she 'suggested' that I 'might' be an alcoholic. I'm only 21. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and ended up throwing up as soon as I got home. My mother's first question was an accusatory, "What have you been drinking?" I was returning from the AA meeting I have been attending for over a month. I go because I'm afraid I'll become an alcoholic like her. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
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Top comments
gabrielbaby 9
Why would you tell your mom?
DocBastard 40
Thank god your mother was there to save you from the evils of a sip of Satan's Brew! Just imagine, if she hadn't been there, you would have surely succumbed to the poison and the drunken hilarity that would have inevitably ensued!
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Comments (243)
TheHolyLama 0
cocktails don't usually contain alcohol?
AliCat18 12
you can get virgin cocktails noob!
MrKlutch 1
YDI for being 19 and telling your mom. Mamma's boy
HannahJoButtons 2
How do you know it is a boy? From what I can see gender isn't specified anywhere.
zukinihudini 0
Whats the drinking age in the UK?
Alexisthebestest 16
I believe it is 18 in the UK.
Bobissmall 13
Perhaps it was his mothers special spiked cocktail that she gives to any plumbers/builders that are doing work in her house... She may have indeed been saving him from alcohol poisoning!
THE_A_TEEN 28
So MrKlutch, what exacly are you supposed to do when you acidentally consume alcohol with your mum around? I know it has been mention but there is no gender after the username, so "mommas boy" is a worthless insult when you have no gender identification.
zukinihudini 0
Thanks 50.
Lawzen_Rainbow 7
drinking age is 18 over here :)
xoconnie 8
why would u tell ur mom in the first place??? if you dont want to be treated like a baby... dont act like one!
TrixER 6
Har Har Har....****-tail.gigity gigity goo! ELO!
RadikulRam 16
Wait wait wait guys hold on wtf are do you mean "if you don't want to be treated like a baby" and mamma's boy etc etc etc OP claims their mother made them drink salt water until they puked, that's not how you treat a baby, a boy or anyone. Do you lot, the ones trying to offend OP, seriously think forcing your child to puke by giving them SALTY water is perfectly acceptable?
gabrielbaby 9
142- I think they do! XD Your right. I hate when people say acting or being treated like a baby. It doesn't make sense. Thank you for pointing this out.
NeatNit 33
YDI for actually doing what she said.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
You deserve for actualy doing what she said and not taking control of your own life and being your mother's little bitchboy. Grow some balls, and actually have fun for once.
lexa1love 16
I just want to point out that the OP probably told there mom they drank it, because she would be more pissed later if she found it missing?
Clevelandians 17
I'd tell my mom, but only because my mother would never react like that
gabrielbaby 9
Why would you tell your mom?
npnptracking 7
Unlike others, he's honest
thisisafunnyname 12
op's mom would've realized the cocktail was gone and probably would've thought he drank it on purpose
ScaughtieHolden 11
Or she.
ygdrassil 17
But he's above the UK drinking limit.
doonerz 0
no one is honest these days.............
xk75 4
Right? Ydi op for acting like a child, no wonder you get treated like one.
TheCarChanel 0
Maby it's a super religious family and he doesn't want to go to hell
mnmstorch 4
Reply
Pazu_fml 10
I would guess just as a "hey sorry, I drank your thing without realizing what it was" so it wouldn't seem like OP was purposely sneaking/stealing alcohol from the fridge. Most parents would be angry to find their alcohol suddenly missing, but understanding if the son/daughter admitted they took it by mistake.
bluntbeak 6
How the hell was op acting like a child?
Naitsi 19
why not?
DocBastard 40
Thank god your mother was there to save you from the evils of a sip of Satan's Brew! Just imagine, if she hadn't been there, you would have surely succumbed to the poison and the drunken hilarity that would have inevitably ensued!
cntryiscntrywide 0
I know yur being a smartass but, I still feel like an idiot for not knowing what each of these words mean.
benderbot19 0
^ as you should
hanhanjr 0
11- those are middle school words..
Enslaved 38
I recently downloaded the "Word of the Day"app! I'm always trying to expand my vocabulary.(:
Lanceeden 12
Everything is bigger in Texas. Except 11s brain.
BaconBoy75 2
Lovely use of polysyllabics
xcowboys 0
37 double posts and gets thumbed up....?
SarcasticUnicorn 9
You know what this means. Yeah you're going to hell OP.
DelphiCat 17
Oh well. Maybe ask for a dictionary for Christmas?
1two3four5six 23
look "LIKE STUPID"?? u r the stupid one
gabrielbaby 9
94- what are you even trying to say?
gntfmlingnow 12
101 - 94 was pointing out that 90 said "look like stupid". Though 94 looked like an idiot doing so.
LouisianaBob 9
I prefer it as it is.
upyourzlolz 11
179 - read his blog if you can't get enough. It's actually quite interesting.
Fruit_Dealer 9
English being my third language, 11 being 19, me being an occasional analyst, I conclude a serious case of retardedness and/or poor education.
DirtyJerzey8083 7
Whatever you say tucker max wannabe
kittykat1501 31
Succumbed means "given into". And I think Hilery means something like chaos
Adjuss 3
Yep Hillary will indubitably lead us into the chaotic realms of the abyss known as Donald Trump's Locker
prettypinkpixie 9
You could have refused to drink the salt water... you're 19 so you have a say in what you do.
Takuya272727 16
Unless she tries to force you to take it, or blackmail you or something. I think if my mom made me do something like that though, I'd make sure to aim for her when it all comes up.
Hollandiscrazy 12
Got to love Holland: - legal drinking age: 16 - legal drugs age: 18 Got to hate U.S. and UK: - legal drinking age: 21 - legal drugs age: NONE You must love us for our carelessess! :)
rttr 18
UK drinks at 18...
Ilikeurfmls 13
I don't see the need to make you puke! D:
hanhanjr 0
Thats the point of the fml
Mackenzie99 6
Well when you have alcohol poisoning they make you throw up so that you get it out of your system before it causes your body to fail... But in his case it wasn't necessary aha poor guy ...
silvercamaro 22
That really sucks I had to drink salt water once when I was sick it's soooo nasty
Ferretface 13
cool story bro.
Wdgames 0
I had to drink it after getting my wisdom teeth out. Swishing salt water helps prevent dry socket, which is insanely painful.
kaykay20 0
Aren't you only suppose to swish it in your mouth then spit it out not swallow it?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
One of my friends did some kind of detox by drinking water that was not only extremely salty, but hot as well. Just hearing about it made me feel like puking my guts out.
iRiS890 5
There's a saltwater cleanse that, if done properly, makes you poo... A lot. Most people just end up spewing chunks though, so it's really lose/lose.
fmlikecrazy 0
Exactly, you're 19. Why'd you let her?
cntryiscntrywide 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
when I lived with her my mom couldn't get me to do shit and, why cocktails? go for the whiskey :) - I know OP didn't mean to drink anything alcoholic -
jazzybaby179 22
You ma'am need to stop commenting already.
teresa96706 29
First of all you claimed that you lived with OP, and now you call OP, "OP" not by her real name or nickname, like a sibling would usually do. Unless you meant "When I lived with my mom, she couldn't get me to..." Secondly, if she didn't mean to drink anything alcoholic, why would she drink whiskey?
BehindU 5
#9 is talking about when she lived with her mom not OP.
DocBastard 40
Teresa, put a comma after "her" and the comment will make a lot more sense. Here's my palm - feel free to use it.
styphon 5
God dam* you speak like English is your second language
Awsumuzzie 12
Did you lie about your age on your profile? You seem a bit: a) rebellious for someone that has moved out, b) you don't know simple words, and c) your sentence structure matches that of a two legged frog that just got stomped on by you and speaks English as a 4th language. But who am I to judge, it's my second language :(
t765234 10
128- I would like to congratulate you for speaking English as a secondary language more effectively than many of those who have it as a primary language.
Awsumuzzie 12
148, thank you. I'd like to congratulate you on picking disturbed as your default picture. Unless my phone is glitching... Then I apologize.
sheethapins 13
Has she put you in AA yet?
tsim_fml 0
what cocktail isn't alcoholic?
LivyGirl0611 9
Virgin cocktails
TheDrifter 24
Well I have a collection of mixed juice "cocktail"s as the cartons call them in my fridge. maybe op is naive enough to think is was a little glass bottle of juice and not a vodka cooler?
sheethapins 13
Cocktail fruit.
t765234 10
Only some cocktail waitresses are alcoholics.