Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like each other. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says, "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
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Top comments
ambrown101 4
That'll make for an awkward ride home.
perdix 31
Maybe after a few more beers, the joke would be on you. Or in you.
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Comments (174)
xgetxbentx 13
Probably time to stop taking your dad for beer.... That's ******* gross.
OffToTheGayBar 9
Sounds like the beginning of a bad Japanese porno, not that... I would know, 'cause I wouldn't. Cough, cough, splutter, splutter.
SpartanMerc 18
While the thought of sleeping with her dad is disturbing, she's not actually doing that, she could have just played along and helped him feel good about himself in front of the other guys, and since that's why she took him out for drinks anyway it shouldn't have mattered what some strangers think. They didn't know it was father/daughter so it's not like they were saying "way to score on your hot ass daughter." I'm not saying what the dad did was right either, if it was my daughter people were commenting on like that I'd have to do something about it.
GelliE212 7
I would have said dad are u ready to go? SMH.
tomtato 10
HE should have said she came from my sperm, that oughta do the trick.
tomtato 10
HE should have said she came from my sperm, that oughta do the trick.
RedPillSucks 33
What a tangled web. What will these guys think when they find out later, that OP is his daughter? Dad should have just stuck to the truth. Ego shouldn't stop him from saying "Hey, that's my daughter!". They may not believe him, and think "wink-wink", but at least it's out there.
the_true_batman 10
Well, do you think your dad is hot too? You probably do, at least subconsciously, since you took him out for a beer, that's practically a date. Try having sex with him, and see how it goes.
geod69 8
Thank them for compliment then tell them your his daughter
kay_princess14 7
Wow he must be really down