Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses' station, I heard them talking about "the bastard in room 303." I went on to visit my husband… in room 303. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML
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Top comments
PianoManGidley 0
I chimed in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of...closing the g*ddamn door? No! It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality!"
australiaaaa 0
#2 nice panic at the disco lyrics, my favorite song by them :D
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Comments (96)
autophobe 0
#2: I dearly love you.
Casualt1234 0
#18 read my mind. #31: Using phrases such as "proceeded to go" are grammatically awkward and when you use them, you sound like a moron trying to use words that you don't understand. There is NO reason you should ever use the phrase "I proceeded to go visit," (that's 3 verbs that could easily be replaced with "visited") but I guess it is good enough for fmylife.com because its everywhere on this site. And next time, when you are trying to sound intellectually superior, don't forget to use the word "too" instead of "to".
Lillith_fml 5
why didn't you say something? oh, maybe because it's easier to moan about other people without doing anything yourself? uhuh
Phallus_fml 0
"The bastard in room 303 flirtatiously slapped my ass."
PianoManGidley 0
#33: I'm a 24-year-old composer/musician who listens to a wide variety of music. Anything from Mozart to Miles Davis to Mindless Self Indulgence. So yes, that includes some Panic! At the Disco as well.
lifeislife_fml 0
#35: I love you.
f_this_s 0
Sorry, but you should be asking him what he is doing to them. Im sure it sucks to be in the hospital for an extended period of time, but there is no need to be mean to the staff. Dont accuse him, be kind, he just wants to go home. Get Well to him.
TryAgain82 0
YDI for having a husband that takes out his situation on innocent bystanders. #20 The "FML Police" thing is really lame...
notmuch 0
In other words, your husband has such a good health insurance coverage that he even got a single room? Yeah, FYL, really.
chelsea_pratt 0
oh, your husband must had flirted with the hot nurses. i hope the nurse slapped your perverted husband :)