Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
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Top comments
caancoha 0
How do you not deserve this? "Treat others as you would like to be treated." Go luck your wounded manhood.
Heartside 0
Seriously. Wow. You deserved that. Good for her.
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Comments (135)
teamwork 0
Am I the only one who's always down for sex? This is ridiculous.
perdix 31
No, I'm the other one. ;) Seriously, I think a lot of other red-blooded men are more like us than the OP.
Maverick5762 0
I guess they aren't on FML though because they DID just have sex, because they didn't turn down their partner!
bizarre_ftw 22
Then why are you guys on FML?
higurashil0v3 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
u r SO lucky she didnt divorce you. i would have punched you in the face and moved out. xD. yes im mean when i wanna be >:3 YDI
rageandlove13 8
Wtf...
cassidy0922 6
17 my ass...
Mzzangel 0
my fiancé and I have an agreement to never turn the other away when we r horny. because of that exact reason!!!! so you totally deserve it asshole
Connkidd 0
fool!
solid_neo 0
YDI. Why the **** would you turn down sex?
miraquin123 0
******* deserved it
Fuckimlazy 0
YDI for obviously being gay. MEN, PLEASE YOUR WOMEN!!!
ChiefFin 3
Good for you...lol...
hockeyhouse 5
I also say YDI but not as harsh ad the others. What did you expect, really?
Ilovemyseacow 0
He wasn't in the mood when she asked him for sex, in which he turns her down, seems pretty normal. (Not all guys are always in the mood for sex all the time obviously) and now after witnessing his wife sexually stimulate herself, he can't help but feel aroused and attains an erection, in turn putting him in the mood is only expected for alot of guys, but his wife turning him down and would rather ********** seems kind of strange really, I mean she was already in the mood obviously, and who would rather ********** then have sex with their partner? I think your wife should've swallowed her pride to have made it much more enjoyable night for the both of you. It's her loss really.
vetter_fml 0
sex isn't always better because you can't have the same amount of centralized focused pleasure to certain areas. The invitation was there, he refused, so she took care of it.
Xxxhellishxxx 0
exactly, they make toys so sophisticated now, you don't need another human being if they're too self centered to give it up when they are "too stressed/tired." my husband pulls this shot sometimes too, so I just say ok and go into my box of toys, God gave us 2 hands for a reason lol
XxgreymoonxX 8
xD that wasn't the point man, if she had to fix her own problem then he does too
pepz_fml 5
your a tad wrong there. if the woman is masturbating already maybe she wants to ****** quickly. if she decides to have sex she has to make him cum and not focus on herself.