Intimacy Reasonable - FML

Reasonable

Anonymous - 30/10/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

This is fine

Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

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LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

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Whoops

Anonymous - 06/05/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom - Dewsbury

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

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fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

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Sing me to sleep…

anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

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paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

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angrymother - 27/07/2016 01:21

Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML

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Anonymous - 04/12/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

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I'm horny, horny horny horny

It was a mistake!! - 12/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML

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Nope

Anonymous - 07/04/2023 16:00

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML

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turtlemansam 6

Saturday 30 October 2010 8:50

She's not your best friend. she's your mom

cutieepie101 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 8:45

omigod. D: so sorry op

abby1029 8

Saturday 1 October 2011 4:17

lmfao ;P

maceyellison 11

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:59

What I wanna know was why was your friend drunk around your dad? We're they drinking together or meet up at a party? How the hell does that happen with such an age difference? Creepy.

Melinie 7

Wednesday 22 February 2012 10:57

That's just grodey. I feel for you, OP.

Miooow 16

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:32

Omgosh I don't know what's worse for the fact that it's your best friend or your dad. But my guess would be your dad! Anyway sorry to hear that, it's really awful!

stump11knights 10

Thursday 12 April 2012 2:00

More like FHL that her dad raped her.

YahThatsMe 6

Saturday 11 May 2013 4:54

this is very disturbing

The_9th_Doctor 18

Wednesday 2 October 2013 3:32

can't argue with that logic

sickerthanyou 13

Tuesday 15 October 2013 17:16

your dad is my hero!.

Secret_Ninjaa 35

Saturday 8 February 2014 15:57

Not a very good Father

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 30 August 2014 23:42

How old is she?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

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Today, I got my score back for the monologue I performed. I got points taken off for "seeming nervous." My character was supposed to be nervous. FML

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Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

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Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML

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Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

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Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

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