Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
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Top comments
michaelaranda 28
Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.
auest 15
Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP
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Comments (53)
unwagedwriter 8
I think it's time to stop having sex until he realizes it won't get him anywhere.
SweetPsycho 13
I know how you feel... my boyfriend does the same thing. just get a spray bottle, I found out that works along with food.
DLBL 23
This is the RESULT of Billygoats ramming their heads into things repeatedly.