Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
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Top comments
michaelaranda 28
Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.
auest 15
Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP
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Comments (53)
HitmanKillsYou 13
reply with the "thats what good pussy sounds like" voice. lol
wolf12king 12
Is your boyfriend barny?
pixierara 28
Well, goats also urinate into their mouths during heat so watch out.
higgysaurus 18
How does this occur in your head as a good idea?
slumd0g 15
Relationship goats
PANDORUM89 21
Tell him if he really wanted to be a male goat he would grow a beard and then pee on it.
dakotaabriannee 14
Although I find this very humorous, I too would get annoyed if my boyfriend did this to me all the time, ha!
Badkarma4u 17
Start calling him "Cabron".
Brandon1000 10
They also piss all over themselves. Be lucky he isn't doing that
CheddarBug8 20
How do you still have a boyfriend