Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML
Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML
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Top comments
yuggi1 11
Did you made sure the goat hadn't eaten animal dung before he licked you? No? Pray it hadn't, and if he did, that the animal wasn't carrying any type of bacteria/ parasite fecal transmittable... Otherwise, now you have it on your face. Good luck with that.
ThomasO_fml 0
GOAT used LICK! It's super effective!
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Comments (50)
piiing 0
omg that ******* sucks! you're not goi g to get a kiss for 6 weeks!
ulicksam 0
How can you NOT deserve it. You let a goat lick your face!
BoldfaceMatteo 0
lol
InvisibleReign 0
Lesson of the day: Don't let animals lick your face. YDI
duhh10 0
agreed.
sweet_candy_ 17
Ewww that is not cute. Fyl for thinking it is cute.
TheWazBe 0
I agree with #1 or at least smack the goat silly.
seahorses4eva 4
Oh yeah...effin adorable. Goats freak me out. FYL, OP...for being that close to a goat, and the poison on your face.
randiZ25 0
that's kinda shitty luck you've got there...
perdix 31
It would have been cute if you had put peanut butter on your crotch and let said goat go to town on your junk.
bachooka 5
until it started chewing... ouchie!
testthecoal 5
got milk?
yuggi1 11
Did you made sure the goat hadn't eaten animal dung before he licked you? No? Pray it hadn't, and if he did, that the animal wasn't carrying any type of bacteria/ parasite fecal transmittable... Otherwise, now you have it on your face. Good luck with that.
DocBastard 40
Wait, you let a goat lick your face? I have no idea where you're from, but that seems completely irrelevant. Because it's a GOAT. And you let it LICK YOUR FACE. On what planet did you think this would be OK?
Zmeilerr 22
Uranus perhaps?
SassiestLemon 2
Well said, both of you.
MuchDance90s 0
agreed. so gross.