Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
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Top comments
michaelaranda 28
Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.
auest 15
Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP
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Comments (53)
auest 15
Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP
dyoy_87 21
Possibly the cassowary (if you don't know what it is look it up on YouTube)
MeltedMango 8
Or he can just go along with it and keep doing his goat sounds even more so both OP and he look ridiculous in public.
Shadowvoid 33
Well come animals taste the urine of the females (giraffes are one) to check if they are in heat. So OP should make him do that. Embarrassing enough for you?
tomvertigo 17
Dolphin maybe?
michaelaranda 28
Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.
alexanderavatar 24
I understood that reference
pom3440 22
this is too funny!
Enslaved 38
Sounds like he likes to kid.
tehdarkness 21
Too late son.
Soninuva 41
Inform him that goats also eat all manners of trash as you set a plate of empty cans and bottles in front of him when he says that he's hungry.
HappyItalian 38
Every time he does it just play him that one screaming goat video off of Youtube.
scyth3s 13
Just the one?
sturschaedel 27
Inform him that you are not "in heat" for more than a couple of days every month.
Ashd09 30
misread the comment. please down vote
olpally 33
Slam his head into a wall...
Amateur_Dank 17
Relationship goals
SecundusSecunda 27
Don't be so uptight, OP! Play along. And if all else fails, ram him.