Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
michaelaranda 28
Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.
auest 15
Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
worldclassrager 41
He's a human not a goat...he should hopefully drop it soon
keiNan_fml 35
may be you should try to ram your head into him, that might teach him a lesson.
Richard6036 13
Sounds like my father, just the person were really low IQ
catherinecas 30
Male goats also urinate and jack off into their beards. Maybe don't tell him that.
Amanduhhhhh 10
My boyfriend does this, too! I thought I was alone.
amileah13 26
Shows you his maturity level.
scyth3s 13
Mature enough to do silly things and not care if people think he's weird?
diagnosed 15
wow how mature..... How old is he 10? I mean seriously if he's making noises at you like that . I think it may be time to find a new boyfriend that is a little bit more mature. Because that is unacceptable to the extreme
russfml 31
You must be fun at parties
hernanjaimes_ 22
Your attitude is unacceptable to the extreme. Geez lighten up.
mustangbravo 27
He's doing a horny goat impression.
allforfun 23
I love how the girls here find his behavior annoying. Pro tip- the more girls tell us we're acting stupid or immature and shame us for it the less we interact with you. Don't be left wondering why your man has changed and doesn't pay attention to you because you've done it to him. Let me tell you when you get older and your BF/husband is too involved in work, bills, or sports to pay attention to you anymore you'll wish they did goofy stuff like this.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Are you serious? Consider to end the relationship? Are you really in so much need of attention? No wonder divorce rates are so high...
diagnosed 15
sir I do not agree with you, there is a time and a place for goofiness. But constantly making animal noises that another person is unacceptable type behavior. No woman wants a guy to make animal noises at her. It's just not right , maybe I was just raised a little bit differently but guys don't generally make animal noises especially goat animal mating type noises at one another in a relationship there are other ways to be kind of goofy besides doing that
SystemofaBlink41 27
Okay, I interpreted it the wrong way. My bad. It's that I've heard of so many cases where an SO is complaining that their other SO is working too many hours, etc. when in reality they're just paying bills and putting food on the table, making it pretty damn unfair, imo, for the partner that's working their ass off.
TiggyBonkers 32
He clearly craves that mineral
deathmec 20
This isn't Ifunny, stahp it.