Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
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Top comments
frenchboy95 2
Aww.. Your boyfriend is a pervert.. I would never do that to my girlfriend..
Shadic 0
Romantic!
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Comments (265)
maxv_15 0
he was driving.. and you wanted him to hold your hand? not only is that dangerous distraction/limitation on his driving, but just.. who does that..? YDI
theanonimouse 0
... um, i do? also, if you have such a hard time driving with one hand, i'd like to know what kind of shit you have for power steering!
americayay 0
Yeah, I do too. A lot of people I know do. That's not the weird part of the FML. Pay attention.
Eresbel 0
Yeah, because it's so easy to drive one-handed for more than a couple of minutes at a time. I guess you're the type of person who doesn't use their blinkers or go around corners. Also: is it so difficult to imagine that maybe the guy was driving a manual?
littlegolferboy 4
You must have never driven before, because it's very easy to signal with one hand. You don't even have to take your hand off the wheel to do it. I used to hold hands while driving every chance I had. Unless you drive standard or you're a beginner driver I don't see any problem with it.
eagle12 0
um, almost everyone?
Nederlander95 14
Actually it's not hard to drive with one hand. I drive a manual, and hold my girlfriend's hand while driving; you let go for half a second to shift when you need to, it's really not difficult.
Shadow_Sniper 0
Why the hell would you want to hold hands with someone who is driving? The world was not going to end if you didn't get to hold hands with him at that very moment. YDI
americayay 0
Yeah, I'm not getting why that's so bad. I mean, if you're on a mostly straight stretch of road, or even a highway. Eh. I don't know. I live in Oklahoma. There are a lot of long straight uncrowded stretches of road here, so maybe it's different, but it doesn't seem much different to me than holding hands while walking. Meaning it's not really that much of an inconvenience.
Shadow_Sniper 0
1) I don't see the point of holding hands while driving. It can wait. 2) There is a huge difference between driving and walking.
JayPanda 0
She was just trying to make a nice gesture. People like holding hands, what's wrong with that? People mostly drive with one hand anyways, (unless they drive a stick).
Shadow_Sniper 0
There is nothing wrong with holding hands. Driving, however, is not the best time to do so.
americanafrican 32
only a bad time if you cant control the vehicle
JayPanda 0
wow. he sounds like a real great boyfriend. you should have squeezed his balls hard to let him know how you felt about him forcing your hand down his pants, hahaha.
Shadow_Sniper 0
Hell no. Yelling at him or hitting him is okay. Squeezing his junk is going too far.
theanonimouse 0
i'd argue that shoving her hand down his pants was a bit too far.
Shadow_Sniper 0
You obviously don't have testicles then.
theanonimouse 0
guilty as charged
alex_vik 1
And wreck the car? Well thought. Then again, it's a woman talking about driving.
theanonimouse 0
hur hur, stereotypes are funny. now why don't you go beat something with a stick?
alex_vik 1
I was replying to JayPanda you dumbass.
theanonimouse 0
who are you calling a dumbass? because if you are referring to me, i honestly have no idea what you're trying to say. of course you were responding to JayPanda. i chose to comment on the sexist and stereotypical nature of your response. lrn2read
khatuba 0
yeah jackass, learn to read. freakin stereotypes.
alex_vik 1
Every time I've ever seen or heard about an accident, it's because of a woman. The woman is not always "at fault", but it is always their fault. Women are naturally horrible at driving. Some stereotypes are true.
AmberHall 2
Yeaaaah. Ignore the statistics that prove that the vast majority of serious and fatal accidents are caused by male drivers. The real facts of the matter are men are not only poor drivers but their egos are so big that they won't recognise how bad they are, and thus insist on doing dangerous and stupid things
Kevinn_fml 0
what statistics! guys only have more accidents cuz they drive WAY more than females. On average females have more accidents. I admit girls are better at multitasking than guys but guys are better at focusing on a single task(driving for example). Both genders have faults though. Girls seem to get too distracted easily and guys like to take risks by showing off like drinking or driving fast. If a guy focuses however then they will drive great with no problem.
meatyorb 0
I do belive he would ve crashed then
TeeLee 0
#100, yeah, I'm so sure that makes sense. If women are worse drivers, then why is it that males have a higher death rate when driving?
alexgisforme3 0
its not like thats a bad thing...i dont know how this got published as an fml. its not a big deal at all. this is just really ******* stupid. no comment really
moo_cow_moo 0
i kinda wonder how half of these get published... I submit ones that are a lot more f***ed up and they don't get published...
TOMTHEMITCH 0
ya same i had a good one **** i was hurt for it n then i ******* see this shit
compensation 0
Haha not a big deal holding hands is overrated, my boyfriend always tries to do it and I don't see why when he has to let go every minute to change gear anyway
Paige_Nicole10 0
okay why are there so many people freaking out about her wanting to hold hands while he was driving? i thought everyone did that. . . .
Hacky 0
well did you at least beat him off?
RileyL29 0
I love holding hands with my boy, regardless of what we are doing or where we are. Point is, your bf is an ass for expecting you to just rub his goods whenever he wants. That is very selfish.
Shadow_Sniper 0
So you're saying that it's selfish for him to want a hand job, but it isn't selfish for you to want to hold hands whenever and wherever?
theanonimouse 0
um yeah, there's a huge difference between offering your hand to be held and shoving your girlfriend's hand down your pants. it wasn't selfish of him to WANT the handjob - it was selfish of him to shove her hand down there like that. dear god, please tell me you're single.
Shadow_Sniper 0
I don't quite get your logic. I understand shoving your girlfriend's hand down your pants is stupid, duh. But how is wanting a handjob from your girlfriend not selfish, but taking action about it selfish?
theanonimouse 0
because you can't really help if you want a handjob. i've had sexual urges before. it doesn't make you a terrible, selfish person. however, acting on those urges and purposefully violating/insulting someone else by shoving their hand down your pants? yeah, kind of selfish. as in, you're only concerned with yourself and how YOU feel, without any regard as to whether the girl wants to give you a handjob or not.
Delilahlilah 0
She held her hand out, as in offering to hold hands. He took it upon himself to shove it down his pants. Large difference.
uSound 0
He may not have known she wanted to hold hands, or he may have just been messing around.
Shadow_Sniper 0
That makes more sense, I don't quite agree that he "purposefully violated/insulted her", but that makes more sense to me then what you first said.
kendalle_fml 0
it wasn't today i tried to hold hands with my boyfriend he didn't want to and i through a big fit. If he didn't want to hold hands and didn't shove her hand down his pants... i don't think she would have been pissed.
dan148 0
Haha
joerios12 2
u expect him told ur hand and he does that he expected a handjob give him crushed balls