Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
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Comments (163)
HannahLouise96 13
No.
OnlyAFeckWanker 0
What a ****. Stab her back
CakeSlicer 0
Maybe she is loony.
HannahLouise96 13
Maybe? Definitely.
kaprookie 3
What was you first clue?
Immersion 0
heard you the first time cakeslicer :)
CakeSlicer 0
Maybe she is loony.
CakeSlicer 0
Maybe she is loony.
HannahLouise96 13
Maybe? Definitely.
enonymous 9
Mall cops mean bznss... srs bznss.
Immersion 0
this comment will recieve many dislikes
HannahLouise96 13
*Thumbs up* >:)
Immersion 0
dammit lmao
krazygirl100 9
i down voted
KeyOfTheTwilight 1
To me, much like everything else on the internet, this FML seem rather one sided. I honestly think YDI simply because you lacked the decency to do it in private. If anything, you did her a favor. She may have overrated, and everyone should be held responsible for their own actions but you were a contributing factor to that outburst. Whether you'd care to admit it or not.
SkyHiLyfe_808 0
There is absolutely no justifiable reason to stab someone.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Are you kidding??What if you're getting mugged or attacked? How are you going to defend yourself, with a Carebear Stare, or by sharing your feelings? It's always common sense to carry a knife with you at all times. If you're mentally stable enough to not go on a rampage, of course.
geeksaresexy 18
Most teens/ young adults who get stabbed are stabbed with their own knife that they carry for protection..
gatorgal94 0
Unless You're a Closet Ninja...
darkmis1 18
I agree with you 27, it was rude of OP to do that in a public place, and I have a feeling he was exaggerating when he used the word "stab".
exotramp 5
I agree with 27. this fml doesn't also say HOW he conveyed the message to her, cos he might have also said something to provoke the violence in her. breaking up in a public place is never a good idea, and he should have just done it at home with one or two friends/family members nearby just in case, since he obviously suspected she'd blow up. doing it in a public place around total strangers is just cowardly. I have to say YDI.
SkyHiLyfe_808 0
69, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to carry a concealed weapon without some type of permit. Pocket knives are one thing, but the type that's going to do any real damage is more than likely a no-go.
HannahLouise96 13
Cause she seems like a pyscho bitch already. If he starts hitting her, who knows what she'd do? Also, I think violence, wether it's a guy hitting a girl, or a girl hitting (or stabbing) a guy, is wrong.