Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
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Comments (163)
Hockeyboy4280 18
I don't understand this, how can they ban one from the mall? Every mall I have ever been to, contains GOBS and PACKS of people. I mean It's not like they could pick you out of the thousands and thousands of people. And even if they could, couldn't you just say that you're someone else? And it's not like everyone has a distinguished face. There is a couple kids on my hockey team who look a lot like me. couldn't you just say that they're recognizing the wrong guy?
kcorn12 0
Sounds like it was a good idea to dump her... but at the mall in front of a large crowd? Really?
magerleads 0
it's your own fault why would you dump her in public. you probably deserved the pen stabbing
lifecontroller 2
Wow.....she's a bitch
youngbuck10 9
A man should never hit a woman, but hitting a bitch is alright in my book. She stabbed him! She put herself in a man's position.
Jaxx66 21
whoa. good thing you did it in a crowded area or she would've killed you.
youngbuck10 9
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!
AmyLu 0
You thought it was the best reason probably because you thought she wouldn't be able to be upset or get any answers from you with everyone around. Alas, you deserve this reaction.
dirtbiker3325_fml 0
I agree with #1, my gf started cussing me out, and when I asked her if I was this bad when she previously broke up with me, she said, "well maybe I just have more emotions than you!". girls can be brutal, and Im sorry OP
yellowroseoftx85 0
At least she wasn't near any knives!